uh oh

last night i awoke from pleasant dreams with a fire in the nether-regions of my throat. you know what i'm talking about-- it's the kind of sore throat that makes you want to cry and ask "why me?" my throat got sore the night before, and was uncomfortable that morning, but i forgot about it for most of the day. but then i ran my mouth a whole lot, and that's why i think what was previously a scratchy tonsil transformed into a deep-throated furnace. i was torn between further entrenching myself in my warm blankets and getting up to find a remedy. i was tired. i wanted nothing more than to be asleep again. but then i checked my watch and found that it was only 1:50 (it felt like 4am). so i dragged myself out of bed and started going through the pantry for something--anything-- that might help. i thought that maybe i had bought some soup months ago that i'd forgotten about. i found mac and cheese in the freezer and noted that. but when inspiration struck, and i checked a lower cabinet for canned goods, i found the thing to do the trick. there, behind a cadre of canned peaches, sat a lone can of spaghettios, expiration summer 08. i decanted them into a tupperware container and heated them up. it's not that i'm a huge fan of spaghettios, although it's evidently a good thing that i don't mind eating them. for a sore throat, there's nothing better than something warm and viscous (bonus points for saltiness or spiciness) delivered directly to the offending area. and that's how i found myself eating spaghettios at 2am this morning.

tick tock

in other news...

i spent the afternoon reading my brains out at borders, so much that i pretty much just stumbled home in a spatial and temporal warp, but anyways... it still managed to occur to me, as i stood on the BART platform at embarcadero just how fast 11 minutes can just whiz by. how many 11 minutes of my life have come and gone as i've stared at the wall in a stupor? time is a slippery customer at the best of times, and especially when it's spent waiting for the next ride. even when the wait seems interminable... from the longest 3 minutes EVER to the longest 30-minutes-in-the-cold-that-should-have-only-been-5-minutes EVER, it's like... damn, those minutes are come and gone forEVER, and at the end of my life, those are the ones that I'm gonna want returned to me because I always forget or decide not to bring a book. today's 11 minutes went faster than usual (often, you'll find me rolling my eyes incessantly) because i had mentally prepared myself by mishearing the announcement as "1 minute" and when I found out I was wrong, quickly steeled myself against disappointment by saying "whatever, I have my ipod." and then good-bye to 11 minutes of my life. they went so fast, and then next thing you know, i'm sitting in a dark tunnel wondering why the heck the train stopped moving. and then, with no explanation, we moved again, and from there it was smooth sailing all the way home.

the story this time had nothing to do with anywhere i had to BE (though, if you want to be fair about it, i was tired, dazed, hungry, and needed to pee), but the fact that there was nowhere else i COULD be, because if i wanted to be anywhere else, then i would just have to continue waiting.

and i thought that if i ever figured out just how much of my life i have spent and will be spending during an interim, i might be awed, or philosophical, or indifferent. but there's also the likelihood that i'd be quite depressed, and so i'm going to refrain from any calculations to that end for the time being.

bleeaeaeeaaaargh

oh my god, i just ate a whole personal pizza and the last quarter of that falafel wrap. i'm perfectly aware that it wasn't *that* much, but i was only planning on eating half the pizza and it's almost 10:00. it's just that whoever buys groceries for my grandparents bought like 10 (more?) Celeste single serving pizzas the other day and only 3 of them would fit in the freezer. we ate three of them for my breakfast/their lunch that day, and the rest have been sitting in the refrigerator. so i'm trying to help get rid of them before they become unfit to eat but get fed to me anyway. By the way, I don't know why it is, but Celeste is like the only brand of personal pizzas that they sell at Safeway or something. It's more akin to the pizza you'd get in elementary school or the skating rink than anything anyone the least bit discerning would order of their own volition, but I guess since these people hold a monopoly in the frozen foods aisle, and random people still insist on buying it, that's what we're stuck with over here. Sigh.

2008

On the bus today, I got to thinking about parts of my back-story and my resume and all those things that, at face value, make me sound pretty good. And then I thought about why I can't account for the fact that most of the time, I don't feel like I'm actually as good as I sound.

At Sam's on New Year's Eve, I made up a resolution that was actually more of a goal. It was a good goal, but not a good resolution. But now I have both a goal and a resolution, and here they are:

My 2008 New Year's Resolution: To sound good and be as good as I sound.

My Goal for 2008: To once again become a functional and contributive member of society.

Haha! That's it! I just thought I should write it down somewhere.

The day that went its own way

I had a good day today, the first truly good one in a while, and certainly the best since Tuesday, which is good, cuz I needed it. There was a reason I didn't want to get out of bed today... it might have been an interesting dream, or it was just that I was so darn comfortable (and resentful that someone had called the REALLY loud phone in the living room this morning). But I got up. My plan was really just to check out the new Touchstone gym in Oakland, boulder for an hour or so to get my money's worth out of this month's membership, then get off the bus on College, check out some of the stores, then go home. When I saw that the sun came out today after all, I figured I had no excuses and got out of bed.

This morning I had cereal for breakfast. I bought this cereal back in September when I first came out here and just hadn't been in the mood to eat it until earlier this week. It's Kellogg's Smart Start, and it held up pretty well on top of the fridge all those months, though the texture of the cereal in its natural state is such that it could go a little stale with no real negative effects.

And then I left. I marched down to the 51 and rode it all the way to GWPW's convenient location on 20th. And then I went the wrong way. I swear the website directs you to turn right, but I'm not dumb enough to undermine my story by actually checking that fact at this point. So I went the wrong way on 20th, but was pretty happy about it, cuz I had my new playlist throwing some new acts at me, and I was enjoying the weather. Then I saw Lake Merritt and figured that I'd better turn around.

As soon as I started heading the right way, I saw a building with a honking big smokestack popping out of the top, and I said "OH. Okay." And within short order, I was there. It's a lot... smaller than I expected. I mean, it's not tiny, and it's not the first time I've been spatially misled by a climbing gym's website, but yeah. Actually, the top-rope area was pretty nice, but the bouldering wall's a little depressing if you're not particularly advanced. Or maybe if you're just not up to a challenge, which I wasn't really today. I tried to do a couple of the easier ones, but for pretty much all of them there just comes a point where you realize that the person who set the problem was at least half a foot taller than me. After a couple leaps of faith that brought me nothing but the fear that I would injure myself on the next one, I sat back to consider my options.

It was at this time that someone came up to me and asked if I went to Cornell. I'd forgotten that I was wearing my Cornell lounge pants, though sometimes that's why I wear things like that, and the Ithaca shirt, and so on. This fellow was an 04 grad who had also taken intro to rock climbing and had just picked up the sport seriously in May. He and his sister had come up from Palo Alto to check out the gym and meet the rest of their family. Long story short, I got a harness and top-roped with them for a while, and by the time I left, it was about 3. I had a really good time! The top-roped routes are long, though even the 5.10bB's are doable for me. But since the, uh, commitment was a bit more than I was used, to, about 3/4 of the way up my mind started wandering and I had to tell myself that obviously I could go the next few feet no matter how tired I was because come on, look at it. I did 3 routes and used my arms a lot, so while they're not very sore, I feel them more than I have in... wow, a really long time. Have we not been working ourselves very hard on Tuesdays? I don't know. But anyways. I decided it was time to go when I was less interested in climbing than I was in eating and I felt kinda weird being this outsider in this big fuzzy family gathering. They were a nice family though! At one point I got very self-conscious as I belayed my new friend, because I was terrified that I'd set up wrong and he'd plummet to his death as his parents, sisters, in-laws, and nieces looked on with their bags of almonds and dried apricots. But that didn't happen! AND the mom offered me dumplings to take home (which i declined).

I went back to the 51 stop and waited just long enough for me to get fed up and pull my book out of my backpack. The bus showed up within the paragraph. A few stops later, this woman got on... and... well, I was sitting sideways in one of the fold-down seats across from the rear door, not even halfway down the length of the bus. She came and parked herself right in front of me. It was a little jarring at first, but not a big deal until I realized that she actually had quite a few better options in terms of location and even seating on this not-very-crowded bus. I'd been considering giving my seat to her when I came to this realization. She didn't seem to physically need to sit down, but she was a bit unwieldy with her backpack between her legs and a big floral spray in one hand. And she was right in front of me, the ribbons from the bouquet were flapping in my face... within the confines of my personal space. It was just extremely disconcerting, more so when the girl next to me got off and there was just me and this woman in this large radius of totally empty space. Then, without warning, she turned and exited the bus. Very sudden. Kind of a relief. Now, this encounter was a lot less colorful than other public transit encounters I've had, but it was one of the first to actually just... irritate me.

I went "shopping" on College, and the only thing I really bought was a Street Spirit from a woman on the street. I went into Jeremys and considered getting a coat. I went into a very cute shop in which the items were just out of my price range... and also sort of useless seeing as how I have no apartment in which to display cute non-functional knick-knacks like felt rocks. I went into a recycled/organic/eco-friendly store which was absolutely adorable. I heard as song I liked, so the girl checked out the playlist for me, and returned that the band was Peter Bjorn & John, ironically. I saw a LOT of stuff I wanted, particularly a particular artist's metalwork, and a lot of the jewelry, and so on... so I decided to store that away for another time.

By this point, my stomach was doing a constant rumble. I'd passed Ici and wandered around the Italian food place and La Mediteranee, but held out... I wanted to get home to eat the other half of my falafel wrap from yesterday. I walked the rest of the way back, and around the last block started wondering if I'd be able to make it. My backpack had started really weighing me down in the first store and my head was... hurting. It still hurts, actually. But I made it, even though I forgot my key, and I ate half of the half of the falafel wrap and showered and felt nice.

And that was my day today. I encountered a lot of nice people, and the sun was out, and I did more than I thought I could do. Hooray!

The hair of the future

I saw it today. Today I saw the hair that I want and I stared at a girl on the bus (as surreptitiously as I could muster) until I could ascertain just how to get it. I think I've been presented with the same concept before, but the execution on this one was the best I've seen yet. She was asian and had some pretty stylin layers. One of the bottom layers though was alternately dyed different shades of pink and lavender, so the colors peeked out from the bottom, but didn't look trashy or anything. Well, at least not to me. But the point is, that one day... one day in the FUTURE, I will have that or a similar hairstyle, when I find myself in a comfortable and secure position. since it involves color... I may have to wait until I'm in school again. And then perhaps I'll follow it up with that faux hawk.

Found: awesome tv show and lover in a former life

The title for this post was originally going to be simply "found," but I figured I could dodge some ridicule this way. It's actually about LOST, that show that I used to watch and find myself watching again. What happened was that my harddrive was glutted after getting topped off with all the music I got over the holidays, so I was looking for ways that I could bear that would free up a few gigs. And then I realized that I had half of season 3 sitting on there in hefty mp4 format, and then I watched an episode and remembered that it was good. Also, considering how lame my life is now and how I'm constantly looking for entertainment with minimal effort to be expended by myself, well... one thing led to another and I finished the series and I really just need more.

Anyways, I know this subject is kind of boring, but I realized it's probably important for me to get this thing going again, since I'd never forgive myself later if I just let the precious momentos (siiiigh, it's a neologism, ok?) of my youth slip away without a fight.

And perhaps it seems boring at first until I disclose the abundance of vivid dreams I've had the past couple days (though I can't remember them in full, so it might remain boring for you, sorry). Last night, especially, after I finished the season, I kept waking myself up because I was trying to dream up season 4 and I dream-justified it as "not wanting to spoil anything." Also dreamt last night: terrifying car ride with my dad in my new car, on our way to arthur's birthday party, arthur's birthday party and some pretty weird guests, then party game in which teams build their miniature "dream garden" by bartering for found items. For example, you'd walk up to someone and ask for a lake and they might give you a small chunk of blue felt.

Hopefully this is the start of a beautiful new thing as I add some digital umami to my life as it is.

That is all.

Some credit, please

Upon arriving home, I have discovered that it's somehow become so much easier to use someone else's credit card to pay for random shit. I feel like fool. At CVS, at Border's, you know, I just stand there waiting for the credit card slip, ready to dive for the pen to show that "oh yeah, this customer's with it" but actually no, they don't need me to do that anymore. Not that the old way really did that much for security in the end anyways... for years I signed with a signature that in no way resembled the one appearing on the back of my card, but seriously. Damn.

And as for Beijing...

So what have I been doing with myself here anyways? Haha, eating, mostly, just... snacking.

At China Care, I'm kind of the assistant to the volunteer coordinator, Jeremy, a nice fellow whose dry sense of humor really confused me for the first week or so. I live on-site in a dorm-like situation (apartment with bunk beds) within seconds of the 4 children's homes. It's a very convenient location for volunteering, but not really for anything else. It's not *quite* in the boonies, but it's definitely not central or anything. We're about 20 minutes from the airport, but only because the road there is so loopy. I'm sure that a straight shot would put us much much closer. On the other hand, that means that we're about 45 bus-minutes from Beijing-proper, if the traffic's good. While this isn't the biggest deal actually, it's functioned as a pretty strong deterrent thus far against many more excursions into the city. I generally take one trip in a week and stay the night with friends. I might visit more often if it weren't for an actual sense of duty and the fact that the buses stop running after a certain time and cabs are like Y100.

I do like spending time at China Care though, so it all works out. The area here is what you'd call suburban, but there's surprisingly little in the immediate vicinity in terms of cheap, quality Chinese food (in the Baotou sense). All store fronts appear sketchy, and there are few of those anyway. Which is shocking, because you should see the sheer number of apartment complexes hereabouts. There is one park down the block, which is extremely pleasant and which I enjoy very much... except for the over-abundance of mosquitos. For about Y20 each way, you can get to a plaza with a Starbucks, a very delicious Italian restaurant, and a grocery store called Jenny Lou's. This place is like a crib sheet for the Western gastronomy. The first time I walked down the aisles and saw shelves of Campbell's soup, I thought... "You shouldn't be able to get this here! This is cheating!" I mean, after months of rationing a single box of Easy Mac packages, what was I supposed to think? I don't like to go often though, cuz just getting there is so expensive and then you're just spending money on expensive stuff while you're there. The restaurants do delivery though, and sometimes I just sort of feel that urge to let the food come to me of its own volition.

Ok, this is just gonna have to be part 1. It's been sitting unpublished on my desktop for the past week, so it's about time I guess.

Leaving Baotou

Well, I'm not really sure why I haven't been updating this more frequently.

Anyways, I'm in Beijing! I got here... several weeks ago. The day I left Baotou, Julie called to say that she had to make an emergency trip with one of the babies, and so would be coming along on the same train. She needed to trade her ticket for a bottom bunk, so we thought it would be best if we could just trade our tickets onto the same car.

I actually finished packing mid-afternoon, and rather than ponder my fate in the sweltering apartment, I went out for a last chat with my fruit friend.

Alice came home, and we loitered for a while until Emily, one of the volunteers at the children's home, came to help with the move. Then the three of us loitered around until Linda and Alice's mom showed up, and we started to carry things downstairs. We found Helen's dad waiting outside the gate, and he went up to wrestle the large suitcase down the stairs and into the backseat of his car. Then we all piled into the two cars, and drove off.

We got to the train station just about on time, but Julie was late! All of us went onto the platform and finally got onto my car. There was some difficulty in this choice because we had originally planned to trade everything into the car they had. It's difficult for me to explain now, but her ticket was for a top bunk while mine was for a middle bunk, and bunks are valued and priced based on their vicinity to the ground. Extremely fortunately, Mr. Bao knew the family of the girl in the bottom bunk of my berth, and she was really nice anyway, so they traded right away. Then I went out as Julie came busting down the stairs with a bundle and a kind of harassed look about her.

We still needed to trade me into the car with all my luggage though... while it wasn't entirely necessary, I preferred it that way. After much ado and random flusteredness and bartering, everything worked out fine, the train rolled away, and I waved byebye to my Baotou friends.

A lot of times I think about going back up for a visit... though mainly to see certain babies and eat certain foods. But I think I'm mostly finished up there, it was a good year, but it's seriously just time to move on.

The last 2 days

Apologies to my future self (and anyone who happens to care whether I update or not) for my delinquency. You know how it is when lots of smaller significant things happen and you don't want to write about all of it because you think you might be sitting in front of the computer a long time and somehow cheapening the actual experience with poor diction. I might as well mention a few things though. I don't know when people start showing up here to start using the computer, so we'll see how far I get.

So that "last thoughts" entry didn't work out at all, for the obvious reason that I didn't want to spend my last day in Baotou sitting in our sweltering apartment just blogging about it. Would you believe that I wasn't packing up until the last minute this time around? That isn't to say that things weren't hectic though or borderline dramatic even. The greatest obstacle, and a number of people have noticed my rants about this, was the disappearance of running water from my life. I've been doing anticipatory loads of laundry for weeks, and was systematically storing everything in my suitcases as I went. The weather got wet and chilly just before Chen's visit, causing me to break out a few heavier articles, but things were going more or less efficiently. Until Monday. I got up at 6:30 to put an early end to all the laundry business, and managed to wash the vast majority of everything, but then spent the rest of the morning at the children's home. I was back and ready to dig in again at about 3 in the afternoon, at which point I managed to dampen what remained of my dirty clothes with just enough water for things to be really difficult before never having water again. Ting shui isn't the rarest occurrence around there, and often will just result when one of the upstairs households uses the shower or something. Typically if they actually just shut the water off, it's back within hours at the most. So I spent pretty much the rest of the day going back and forth, checking the status of the shower, and subsequently cursing the heavens above.

No water has a lot of other consequences too. Water is an integral component in the operation of flush toilets. To wash your hands, you traditionally need water. And really, just forget about showering and all the other trappings of personal hygiene. For a while, the toilet situation was workable. Just hold it for a few hours as water trickles into the tank, and complete one satisfying flush cycle before hoping that you won't have to pee again anytime soon. Then, for post-potty handwashing, take advantage of the tiny 5-second jet that spews out of the faucet (also once every couple hours) and remove residual suds with baby wipes. And that worked fine for a while, and I still sustained the hope that our water would, at some point, return.

Packing went smoothly enough, though I did get very gross and dusty in the process. Even as my luggage filled, it seemed there was still plenty of just plain crap sitting around EVERYWHERE.

But I went off to Alice's house for dinner with her family, and when we all came back, there was still no water. Flushing became hit-or-miss. Around 11, we took our toothbrushes and biked back over to her apartment so that we could at least wash up a bit before bed. Her mom said that if water didn't come back the next morning that I could finish my laundry there.

Got up early the next day, came comfortably close to being finished, then called up Alice's dad about borrowing their machine only to discover that they no longer had water either. In fact, most of Baotou reported that there was no water. Well, most as in everyone Alice and I talked to. As the day went on, lower floors got water back... The fruit guy had his usual bucket of water on the sidewalk... other signs like that... but for us on the 5th floor, well... the toilet had quit flushing altogether. The situation still hadn't resolved itself by the time I left, and all I could really do was apologize for not having been able to do the dishes or clear the toilet of its... contents.

I hadn't showered in two days, which while bearable, was undesirable in the Baotou heat/dust.

As for the laundry, it wasn't clean and it wasn't dry. So that all went into random plastic bags to be dealt with here. The problem was that my Cornell sweatshirt actually managed to bleed all over my other things while they were sitting in the washing machine (it bled like a wounded animal), so... that was a nice discovery.

But anyway, I was at a stopping point at about 3... maybe earlier, and was pretty much just this bundle of nervous energy. You know like when you can't stop moving at all and nothing can calm you down. I was extremely aware of the heat and stuffiness, and also of the toilet being the way it was. So, in my final hours, I took my book and my ipod and went out for a stroll.

I got through a few pages of Lolita then had to stop. I couldn't really calm myself down. It had started after lunch time-- I had lunch with Dave at a Muslim noodle shop, as kind of a book-end to our first solo meal back in February-- and on the way back just got to thinking about being home and about being in Beijing, and doing something new at last. It got my blood circulating and I went off like a runaway train. But more like a sentient runaway train that suddenly realizes that it has no track. So I closed my book and began walking. The idea was to go to the fruit stand, but the fruit guy was across the street. As an alternative, I started walking towards the training center. It seemed like a place I should visit "one last time." The campus was really pleasant and quiet. Still on kind of an internal rampage though.

On my way back, YJ was back on his side of the street. So we talked until Alice came home and I had to get back to crunch time.

I already miss him a lot. You really don't expect in this day and age to meet someone that you can never see or communicate with again. But that's what happened in this case. There is absolutely no practical way for us to keep in touch at all, and slim is an optimistic way of describing our chances of ever running into each other again. I dunno, I have really strong yuanfen with some people sometimes, so I guess we'll see. But it's all just very sad and poignant.

There was actually some drama on Monday night that I'm not going to get into here, but it's a really... interesting story.

Getting to Beijing was another thing entirely, and I'll have to talk about it separately. I need to go check out my phone options. Trying to decide if I should just recharge my Baotou number or just forget it and replace it with a Beijing sim.

I'm ok though, if a bit itchy, and I showered twice last night!

Thoughts on this, the day I leave Baotou for good

A few things:

Mostly they concern the past couple days.
... Actually, what is there even to say?

I've really enjoyed my last couple weeks in Baotou. It made me feel really good to know that some of my students will remember me for a long time. The last lesson I had was pretty much effortless, just speed dating. I still jive better with the first years than the second years, and we had a pretty good time (from my point of view) before adjourning for pictures. It was really chill, and I appreciated that. Chen came by last weekend, which was pretty exciting. Additionally, he helped me out in my two rowdiest classes, so things were more controlled than usual. I did get to see all of my favorite students a last time, which rules. I may have had specifics, but toootally forgot.

I attempted a batch of brownies on Saturday, with a few slight modifications. I don't know if it was the measurements or the oven, but well... some would say that I failed in my endeavor. Be that as it may, a cold pan of half-baked brownies has really come in handy every now and then since then. What is that like? Well, the majority of the center is definitely still liquid. But that can be cool.

The children's home has seemed pretty empty for a week or so, since Xin Cheng was put into foster care and a lot of the other babies I knew went hither and yon.

Ok. Sooo. Wound up not finishing this after all. More later I guess!

Saturday is Murphy's Law Karmic Revenge Day

And it really is. Or at least on a small scale. Saturday is "I should have known" Day, though most of the time everything balances out in time for the afternoon. This Saturday was a pretty good example.

So really, Saturday just adheres to a strict policy of cause and effect, and therefore my story begins on Friday. Fridays are the days that I used to spend frantically trying to complete a worksheet unit for my Saturday morning students (who don't appreciate it so much, by the way) so that I could get it printed by 4pm, when I have to head back to class with Russ and Dave. Ever since I found out though that the printer opens at 7:30 in the morning, I've been putting off the work until the evening so that I can relax a bit in the afternoon and just wake up early (which I tend to do anyways) to get everything done. This worked fine for like one or two weeks, until one recent weekend where the machine kept choking or something and I wound up having to take a cab to make it to school on time (and the cab woman would not give me change for a 50, even though she had it, and insisted on looking in a gas station for change when they were either closed or didn't have it either and in this manner stalled me even further). My thing is that I like to take the bus cuz it saves money and I like to take it early because I don't like walking through a fog of recessing #1 school students to get to my classroom.

Anyways, last Friday, I was tootally not in the mood to spend my afternoon making this worksheet. I had some lunch, walked around a bit, and came home with the intention of napping for a while before getting started on it... but then I decided that maybe I wanted some lychees. I figured I could get some fruit and get in some brief conversation with the fruit guy and thereby put myself in a good mood to do work. The brief conversation became kind of an hour-long conversation, give or take, and by the time I got back I was even more tired and much closer to classtime. I ended up sort of not doing anything productive in the meantime and then left.

Putting the worksheet together at night normally isn't a problem for me either. I can stay up to do work if I have to, and really a lot of the worksheet is pretty automatic once I get the main idea set down. So this was not a big deal, nor was it out of the ordinary.

After class, I hung out with Dave and Russ as per usual. We often eat dinner together since it used to be we all had class relatively soon after, but recently it's just been a few snacks at some picnic tables near a bunch of vendors. By the time Dave and I got back (this particular class takes place in my neighborhood), Mrs. Liu and some of the parents were just standing around outside my apartment. After a brief chat, I headed in, BUT stopped short when I saw Tara's bike sitting there. I found that I could go no further. The whole idea of writing this thing with the constant distraction of her mere presence was simply too much. SO, I decided to go cool off in the little park area. I sat for a while... sent Alice some text messages describing my plight, and eventually pulled out my notebook and sketched out my worksheet idea. Eventually Alice texted me back and told me to go over to her place instead. So I walked on over, rested my head briefly, ate what amounted to a 2nd dinner, and at last the 2 of us came home. At that point I just wanted to shower and die, so I did just that. I didn't feel like wasting a bunch of time sitting around staring at Word, when I knew that I could get up early and have a nice serene work atmosphere all to myself. That's just what I did.

Saturday dawned. I arose as planned, and finished everything on time. I figured that the latest I should be headed to the printer was about 8:15, to allow for any copier troubles that could come up. Everything went all right UNTIL I couldn't find my USB drive. Couldn't find it anywhere. Still can't find it, as a matter of fact, which ain't good but whatever. I did, however, know the location of my 256k drive which I hadn't used in months because it was full. I decided to just delete some of the stuff for now.

I don't know if I was just dazed or what, but when my anti-virus/spyware monitor suddenly started asking me if Windows Help should be allowed to alter system information and access the internet, I just kept clicking allow. I remember thinking "this doesn't seem right... oh well!" Then I got the BSOD for the first time in ages and my computer shut off. Cue storm of cuss words and panic attack.

I restarted my system, and it all came back ok, at which point I was prompted again about Windows Help. I'm not sure why it said Windows Help, but the actual program in question was one RECYCLER.exe, which turned out to be a trojan/smashbot or stashbot or slashbot or something. I got sooo pissed. I'm pretty sure I got this virus from a computer at the #1 school last semester. But anyway, I couldn't access the drive at all, so I burned the files to CD to drop off at the printer so that I could come home and work this out while it was all getting done. I threw on a random outfit (jeans/t-shirt affair) and ran downstairs. When I got there, we couldn't get their CD drive open. When it opened, it couldn't read the data. SO. I had to run back.

By this time, Tara had gotten up and was getting ready to leave. Alice got up too, though I guess just to visit the bathroom. I waylaid her and begged her for her usb disk. She gave me her usb hub. We spent a moment trying to clarify this and finally I got a working disk with my files to the printer. While I was there they also killed the virus on my USB (though it involved deleting everything). At this point I had enough foresight to ask whether or not I should go make some change to pay for the printing. I did have to, so I went to the convenience store and bought random crap.

I got out at 9:15 wide awake with enough adrenaline in my system to last the rest of the day. At the end of it all, I decided to just take the bus anyway just to sort of reclaim my morning. I got to class exactly at 10.

Afterwards I went for a soothing coffee/student journal reading session and the rest of the day went all right.

So anyways, I'm not complaining, since everything worked out in the end, but it's just kind of a funny story to me. By the way, I fiddled a bit with the registry and it seems like my virus problems are solved...

actually a really short entry about laundry that was hard for me to title so this is it

Laundry day again. But this time it's a SPECIAL laundry day. Today I am washing all the clothes to be packed in my suitcase not to be unpacked until I've reached the landlocked shores of the big OH. Kind of exciting, though I still hate doing laundry here. I'd considered outsourcing this particular load, but the skinflint in me won over. I spend a lot of random money this month... on a hard disk, a dress, and coffee, so...

There's lots to say about this past weekend I guess, so I'll go ahead and start new posts for those.

Dirty Weather

It's dirty. Just plain dirty. It's been cooling off a bit the past couple days and the wind picked up a whole lot. The clouds moved in and I haven't seen the actual sky for a while now. Anyways, yesterday when I left the orphanage, I noticed that all the cars parked outside were coated with something. I figured it was the weird seed fuzzies that have been floating around for the last week or so, clinging to what might have been a light drizzle leftover from when I was indoors. Upon closer inspection, it turned out that the cars were all covered with a dense layer of what looked like splatters from a mud-soaked brush. I thought maybe the rain had condensed whatever film of dust must be already stuck to the hoods, but I looked even closer at the windows on the bus I rode home, and yeah... it was actually just the rain. It was raining dirt yesterday.

Today counts as a sunny day, but the wind's pretty strong. I went out for lunch and the dust from the street was getting blown everywhere. Turns out, if you part your lips for even a second, grit will get stuck in your teeth, so when you close your mouth there's this mineral grind between them. I didn't realize where that was coming from at first, and then just resolved to keep my mouth closed.

Like a polaroid picture

A little more than halfway through my class with the primary-age kids last night, we had ourselves a bit of an earthquake. I was explaining some exercise from the textbook when our 2nd floor classroom did the rhumba. You got the sound too... a low grumble. That's actually the real sound effect! I didn't know! It was very cinematic. The kids started yelling and whatnot... some popped under their desks as a joke (I think). I personally wasn't really sure what had just happened, but one of the dads insisted that it was just a big truck driving by and that everything was fine. Whatever, everyone knew it was an honest to goodness di zhen.

Earthquakes aren't a big surprise for people in Baotou. Some years back, there was apparently a big one that caused the only school closure in recent memory. The English teachers who were working here at the time got moved out of their apartments to live in a bus, which I think sounds pretty rad.

Technically earthquakes aren't news for me either. My grandparents live in Berkeley, and according to my mom, every time we visit, there are tremors like every single night. It's just that I've slept through every single one (though I did once respond with a sleeptalked "rumblerumblerumble"). So while I've been party to numerous little quakes, this is the first one I've ever consciously experienced.

So yes, it was exciting for me. I remember sitting there asking myself questions like "will the lights go out? will a huge chasm manifest on the floor of the classroom? what exactly should we do?" until it stopped. Then I sort of waited to see if there would be any follow-up, but there wasn't, so life continued almost as normal. We got out of class sooner, which was awesome cuz I was really tired of teaching them last night. I don't know how focused they were anymore anyway, and outside you could hear indistinct chattering, and inside people were having trouble dialing out for info. As class ended, someone confirmed that yeah it was an earthquake, and so I headed home really interested to see if Alice had any commentary to make about it. She was totally oblivious though that it had even happened and was actually disinclined to believe me! Snap!

But everyone else knew. Folks in Hohhot knew. And now you know.

This morning, I found two late messages from students asking me if I knew about the earthquake and if I was all right. Bless them! I don't know exactly what that means... whether or not it was stronger elsewhere, or whether they just think I'm weak-constitutioned, but I guess it's cool that someone cared.

The kindergarten class I'm making up this morning was cancelled last night, but then was uncancelled this morning. So it's a good thing I ended up not sleeping in like I'd planned, cuz otherwise I would have woken up just as the first students started pounding on the door.

Random note: saw a commercial last night that used the star wars theme. then shortly after, was the commercial in which computer animated multicolored condoms threw a tantrum. it honestly might have been a commercial for vascectomies, but it was pretty hard for me to tell. anyways, the condoms cheered and threw a party at the end, so whatever it was worked out.

The ambrosial mango from across the straits

First off though, I'd like to mention the newest application of my fear of commitment, at its most socially crippling. So, just outside the south gate of my xiaoqu, the gate we most frequently use, is a fruit-seller. We've been buying fruit there on and off since we moved in, but there wasn't ever really any sense of attachment. One reason for this was the eventual rotation of every person who has worked there-- usually it's operated by a single person every day from morning to night until that person mysteriously disappears and is replaced by a new person who does the same. Another reason is that there have been times when the selection of fruit was slightly under the par set by other fruit sellers citywide, or the prices still sounded a little higher in comparison. For these reasons, I've had no problems just taking my business elsewhere, though often I just grew too lazy to buy fruit at all.

Anyways, two days ago I decided to stop and buy a few mangos, when the jolly young male fruit seller decided to strike up a conversation with me. I guess sometimes you can't help but notice the comings and goings of two girls who speak English all the time and who also rendevous with old white men nearly every day right in front of your shop. But since then, I feel somehow beholden to this fruit seller, who, unlike other sellers, makes friendly conversation in lieu of speedy wordless transactions. Because now we have the bare construct of a relationship, I feel like taking the extra steps to go buy fruit elsewhere would be an act of disloyalty, even though probably no one even cares. Also, when I pass the shop now, will I have to make eye contact and small talk? Aaaaargh! These are the concerns that keep my from functioning like a normal person all of the time.

Whaaaaatever, this post is actually supposed to be about mangos. Sweet, succulent Philippine mangos. The Philippine mango is a goldenrod-hued ovoid fruit that is more slender than the mango we are familiar with in the US. There, it's possible to encounter it in the dried fruit section, but here, it's been mango season for a couple months now, and they're everywhere in their fresh golden glory. The first thing you notice, I guess, is the frangrance, and after looking briefly for where that smell is coming from, you'll find the mango. On the street, in a bag on the couch, its tattered peelings in the trash can, wherever, there's that haunting... melodic scent. Instantly recognizable as mango, only it does make you wonder why you've never smelled it this strong before.

These mangos you peel and eat like bananas, and it is a messy endeavor. You'll invariably have to wash your hands afterwards. The skin is pretty tender, and comes away easily, though sometimes you do have to tug a bit. Then you just tear copious amounts of mango flesh off the large pit in the middle, and finish by using your teeth to comb through the remainder of the pulpy fibers, much like whales do, for whatever vestiges of that sugary sweetness are left. If your vigilance wavers, the juice starts dribbling everywhere, and you get neon orange droplets slithering down your wrist, onto your kneecaps or the toes of your socks, and all over your chin. I'm usually pretty careful about this, and had a method that was working pretty well until today, when I just removed the whole mango from its jacket and ate it two-handed. For me, pretty soon the area around my lips and chin starts to burn and itch from the pectin, or whatever it is in fruit that I'm mildly allergic to, and I have to stop.

They've been selling mangos for several weeks now, and I've passed by several mango peels scattered on the streets. For some reason I just didn't want to go for it, under the illusion that these had to be approached like the ones back home: with a knife and a blindfolded sense of disappointment. It seemed like such a small mango would really suck to eat, with more pit than flesh, and a truncated length enjoyment. Also, I had no way of knowing whether they were ripe or not. But anyways, since my first mango a few days ago, I've been hypnotized and can't actually stop thinking about them. The flavor is inspirational. I've cycled through all the cooking possibilities but can't get past the delicious notion of just consuming them raw forever. Now I understand why mango ice creams and candies taste the way they do. This is what mango should taste like! The flavor's so rich and... yellow. These mangos taste like pure nectarine sunshine. Or like a Beach Boys song (a pretty one, about the beach)!

If you ever get the chance, I encourage you to embrace this fruit for a transcendental gastronomic EXPLOSION!

May Day!

So, I had a post started that talked all about class schedules and stuuuuff, but I don't want to deal with it, so I'm starting a new one.

At the tail end of my "vacation" now. We had a whole slew of makeup classes last weekend (and a few more this weekend), and then starting Tuesday and going until tomorrow, we've had days off. Not gonna bother checking back over the grammar of that one, so whatever. Currently doing laundry, which is taking predictably forever.

It's been a pleasant enough week. Tuesday, May 1, was a big deal, but one which thankfully didn't produce any fireworks. We'd been planning on hitting "the mountains" but were at kind of a loss as to which/where/how the hell to get there. Dave and I grilled some of the high school students about Meiligeng, which he'd somehow heard about, but most students said just not to go there. We didn't really know of any alternatives (weren't even really sure what Meiligeng itself even entailed), so Russ ended up asking one of his students, Ann, who ended up taking us to Meiligeng anyways, which ended up being gorgeous.

Tuesday morning, we met up at the walking street at 8am, and piled into a car. It was a taxi-ish car, but slightly bigger, nicer, and black. That ride cost us Y150, which I thought was pretty steep. We split it 3 ways to treat Ann, which honestly was unexpected... I don't mind saying that I thought we were gonna do 4 ways. Whatever though, not a huge loss (except then I might have considered taking a cheaper car... I can be an assy skinflint when I want). Apparently when locals go, they take a bus or even just their bikes. So yes, we were just basking in luxury in that car. It was the first time I'd gone to the east side of the city... I remember asking Alice during Chinese New Year if she wanted to walk that way, and she adamantly declined, saying pretty much that it's disgusting cuz the only thing there is Baogang. Well, she was sort of right. The sky turned outright gray, and the streets were crowded with coal trucks and other trucks, and so on. We had to drive a ways before the sky cleared up again. I started taking photos at that point, where you could just barely make out the outlines of the Qingshan range in the smog, and photographed the progression from that out to the countryside. There, garbage lessened, civilization was spread a lot thinner, and the sky turned an amazing crystal blue. You could see the mountains pretty clearly after that.

The drive wasn't even an hour, so I guess that means we were ripped off a bit on the ride. But you know, we got there fast, comfortably, and relatively safe, so... yeah I'm not really sure how much that's worth to me exactly, so I'll just leave the whole topic of money cuz I sound stupid when I talk about it.

Since most people take May 1st off, we were expecting a good number of people to be at the mountain, one of the few (but proud) places of interest around these parts. Alice had to go to the monastery again with her company, and reported that it was crowded there also. But since we got there early, the population was still pretty manageable. We really lucked out on the weather, which was absolutely perfect: few clouds, bright sun, slight breeze, warm, not hot.

Not sure what I was expecting when I heard "mountains," but for some reason it didn't occur to me that there'd be admission. It was only Y20 though, which is less than half the price of the monastery, and really for triple the chance for enlightenment. Alice told me that back in the day, it was a dangerous place to go, and people died in ways ranging from falling to drowning. She didn't say that this happened regularly, but that's the image I got in my head. Anyways, since then, it's been "cultivated" into a tourist-friendly sort of trek, through the addition of steps and railings, and a few well-placed "no-climbing" officers with walkie-talkies. Once you start up the path though, you're given a choice every now and then of the safer, easier route, or the "more dangerous and more exciting" one. Of course we took the latter, which consisted of railings plugged next to footprints carved into the rockface, some set for strides much wider than my own. To its credit, the "wilder" paths really did make things much more interesting than, say, Taishan, which is just stair after stair after stair. There was a surprisingly slim margin for error in some places, and people stumbled fairly often.

For the number of people at the mountain that day-- there were some bare areas where folks literally looked like they were meandering through an ant farm (I have photographic evidence!)-- there was still quite a bit of unobscured view. In all I took about 250 pictures of... well, more or less the same thing. Blue sky, gnarled pines, scrubby bushes, and rock. Mountains of beautiful frictive rock. It's the kind of landscape you really just want to clamber all over.

The attractions of Meiligeng are usually listed as the following... "green" and "water." People were in various states of denial over whether or not there'd be either at this time of year. Fortunately, there were both. The waterfalls and creekbeds were already flowing, in a very benign and non-lethal sort of way. The trek up the mountain passes a lot of smaller waterfalls, all unique and interesting in their own rights, to a tall gusher at the top. The volume of water was much less than, say, Taughannock-- people were skipping across the pool to stand on a rock just in front of it without getting so much as sprinkled-- but it was still pretty impressive. If you hold out your right hand in front of your face and turn it 45 degrees counter-clockwise, you have the rock formation that the waterfall's nestled in. It's called the "hand of Buddha" or some such, and the water flows down the crook between the thumb and index finger. The resemblance really is there too. I have a semi-detailed record of all the waterfalls, having been inspired by the h2o pictures on Drew's website. I could really sit around and take close-ups at the same stream of water for like... an hour or something. Of course, the outcome is different every click!

All around the "summit" as it were, are the people who got there before you, staking out rocks and other hard places for their families and friends. You see things like picnic blankets draped over boulders, heated card games, and cans of beer cooling in shallow pools (cuz that water was freeeezing!). People of all ages start at the foot of the waterfall and scramble downwards on the rocks to find a place to settle down. Uniformed guards stand here and there saying goodness knows what into kschhhhking radios while also taking photos for various groups of people and occasionally yelling at others to quit climbing stuff.

I ran into two students up there, which was vaguely awkward, but we took some photos and said "seeya" and moved on. I sat around a while, a ways from Russ and Ann (some interesting, but ultimately confused observations there) and ate a quick snack. Dave had marched on ahead of us long before and spent 30 min or so at the waterfall before heading back and bumping into us along the way. I took more photos. Eventually the three of us started picking our way down the rocks to go back.

Actually, going down was the hard part. It was only about 11, but more people had arrived by this time and were making their way up. Meanwhile, a lot of folks who had already been sitting around were making their way down. Here and there, both groups must use the same narrow path/bridge/stairs/footprints. Then there are the people who think they can take shortcuts but going off the path (I participated at times), and while that does get you there faster, it's still sort of at the expense of others. I have the utmost admiration for the parents who carried their babies/small children both ways.

We met up with Dave and headed back to the front to get some food. There's one restaurant there, and I guess it's part of the Meiligeng resort. Yeah, there's a whole litter of villas where dwell large parties of vacationers. Actually, I think the restaurant was booked mostly full of them. We may have been the only ones there who didn't live on-site. That food was expensiiiiive, but I have no complaints about flavor or any of that. I mean, service was slow, but it's cuz they were also taking care of 3 full tables next to us, and it ended up giving us time to just unwind. The most interesting dish was the last one... chicken and mushrooms, where the mushrooms were like... big honking mushroom caps and stems. Very chewy and, uh, resilient, but I got a kick out of them. They held the sauce pretty well.

Afterwards, we started the long walk back. Meiligeng is actually at the end of a long road along which there is nothing. It's apparently around 8km long, but we figured what the heck, we like walking, and just went ahead. We were like the only people walking at the time, even though I know we saw a whole bunch of people coming the other way that morning. It was maybe 2:30 at that point. We walked a real long time, but it wasn't the least bit tiring or anything. The sun felt good, but my right hand and wrist were turning gray and totally mummifying. I couldn't really wiggle my fingers so well because of how dry my skin was getting. Also my fingers had swollen quite a bit. When I finally looked down I was all like "holy crap!" On either side you could see piles of scree, some last trickling vestige of the waterfalls and streams, scrubland, boulders, and weird animal tracks. Every now and then a vehicle would come literally screaming by. There was a temple on the side of the road, but it was gated and quiet. Also there was a small colony of abandoned tourist yurts, which intrigued me.

The end of the road fed into the road home, and the mouth was clogged with people waiting for the bus. Ann had planned for us to take the train back, so we walked a ways further away from town to a totally deserted train station. I didn't even realize there was a train station there. Anyways, the first thing I thought when we got there was how much like a computer game it felt to be on a totally empty platform and to be staring at signs but at no people. Very Myst-like, or at least Syberia-esque. Despite that, we went inside to inquire about tickets and the employees informed us that the schedule had been changed and the train now comes at 3 instead of 4 or 5 or whatever we thought it was. Aaaand it was 3:30. So we turned around and decided to hail a cab. But the road wasn't really a happening place either, and most vehicles coming by were 3-wheeled cars and cargo trucks. Otherwise you'd see cabs that already had fares or which the owners were using to take their families out for the day.

We walked back past a mian jing restaurant (how much business could they possibly get out there?), where a woman standing outside started asking us if we were looking for a taxi. She said she could get us a car. We took her up on the offer of a van for Y80 and went inside while she called whoever it was. He wouldn't do it for Y80, but Y100 was about what we expected, so we offered that instead. Then we waited around for the van. The woman looked sort of like how you'd expect Natalie Portman to look if she were Chinese.

We went back in a nice white van along the very bumpy terrain of Liuyuan district (or something to that effect). Suspension on these vehicles is really, uh, springy (I don't even know if suspension is what i'm talking about), so a lot of bumps sent me bouncing off the rear seat to the degree that all body parts lost contact with all car parts. Getting air that way was pretty fun. Got some more pictures of the drive back. I kept dozing off and smacking my head against the window.

He dropped us off at the far end of the walking street, so I walked back home via the north gate of our xiaoqu (uh... small district/living district/apartment complex/subdivision/what have you), and took pictures! So now you can see what my neighborhood is like.

I got home at about 4:30 maybe, and fiddled with pictures until almost dinner time. Alice and I took the bike back over to her place and I took pictures along the street too. We posed with the bike a bit, and her mom took pictures of us. Then we had a nice fairly light meal. I ate mostly xiancai (pickes) and this tofu rind(?... i'm just calling it that)-cucumber salad cuz it was goood. We made fun of the tv for a bit, and came home to watch It's a Boy/Girl Thing.

I don't know why I've never heard of this movie, but actually it was... cute. Parts of it were really dead-on in the humor department... others, not so much. It's weird that after all these years since Freaks & Geeks and The OC, Samaire Armstrong is still playing a teenager. Anyways, it wasn't the best movie experience cuz Alice was QQing with some pilot the whole time, but whatevs. I then decided to sleep, and I did.

Can't wait for real live holograms

This morning, just before I woke up, I dreamt I was at another museum. I think it could have been Union Terminal in some way... if only because it had to be a familiar childhood memory, but as in most dreams, the resemblance wasn't really there. A few things of note happened. First of all, I ended up there in the course of some other activity that I can't remember too clearly... I was on a bus? I was walking through a city? It was mildly unpleasant, but not too much. In a cab? It was really old-fashioned, I think. Three things happened worth noting. One thing... I was with someone trying to get through a gate. We were in a hurry. I ran through the logical opening with someone. Then friend Christine runs straight through what looked like a solid metal pylon... or... something. Right through the gates/potted plants. We were like wow, we totally didn't see that opening. But it turns out that it wasn't an opening... just that a lot of the gate was a holographic projection. Same with all the... sales clerk... ish people standing at regular intervals in what was apparently a larger hall. A lot of things were. I ran headlong into a few very solid looking objects to test it out. Turns out we were at the entrance for the holographic image exhibit in the museum. It was really delightful, and I went into the exhibit.

Coming out, I went to sit on one of three wooden tiers near the exhibit exit. I may have been younger. Anyways, it turned out to be a kind of musical activity that involved us singing, and I felt emboldened enough by my dream state to voluntarily participate. I sad on the second tier. The only other recognizable person in my... group... was Michael from Salute Your Shorts. The guy in charge of the activity explained that there needed to be like 3 groups of 10 or something, but then suddenly asked me if I spoke Chinese. I said I spoke a little, and he told me that I had to go to a different room. I think this was the point where my teeth started hurting. As in, someone had removed my two bottom front teeth and then put them back in upside down. I really really wanted someone to go back and put them back the way they were but no one would listen to me. Actually, they'd set me up for an activity where I got to play with a baby rattlesnake. They gave me very little instruction in this direction. The rattlesnake was actually big and fleshy, and hot pink. And asleep. I was actually pretty excited to play with it, but I totally didn't want to get bitten.

I don't remember what point I woke up at.

The one with all the cartoon characters

Weeell, last night I had me a real lulu of a dream, which I would like to record before I forget much more of it.

So whatever the course of events was up until then, I had qualified for some major Olympic-esque sports competition in-- SURPRISE-- gymnastics! The idea was that even never having done any gymnastics whatsoever in all my long life, I had enough random natural talent to get me in. It was very exciting.

Then I was in high school chemistry... or something.

Then I was touring the the competition facility with some friends, and saw people warming up for various activities... everything except whatever gymnastics I was supposed to take part in. So we were concerned and went looking for answers.

Found them in this little conference room where apparently the other gymnasts had been gathered by means of a note from the office. I guess you needed to be present in order to participate, so my eligibility was hurt by my... non-presence. But I never got a note! Somehow, the person in charge of all of this was Lisa K'Bedford, and she was meeean about it. But I never got a note! I was on the verge of tears when this older gent came in. A trustee type or at the very least a chairman type. But maybe not that high up. But at least high enough to veto Lisa K'Bedford. So I pleaded my case... they were sitting on chairs and I'm pretty sure I was on my knees. In this conference room. And I was all like crying, but I made a really good argument. So the dude decided that I should be allowed to compete, and I was so happy that I hugged him. But... then suddenly he wasn't so old anymore. And then he engaged me in what was definitely kissing, and I remember thinking, "Well, this sort of undermines everything I just said." Thing was, it seemed very much like some continuation of a past encounter, which I had no recollection of. Afterwards I looked around cuz I didn't want anyone to think that I was back in because of some sort of... backdoor relation, but everyone just went about their business like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

By this time, I'm trying to figure out why he had felt it appropriate to embrace me in such a fashion. Where had we met before? Only now it's not something between him and me, but rather Colonel Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist and Disney's Pocahontas. How did they happen to meet before? Well, we're about to find out.

So, there's wilderness. Kokoum (who is a bit goofy in this incarnation) is professing his undying love for Pocahontas for what seems might be the hundreth time. Maybe he's trying to offer her something? Anyway, she's irritated and goes off into the woods, where...

Someone comes tearing through the vegetation, fleeing the wrath of a giant velociraptor. I'm not sure who it was... though I imagine it was Powhatan, members of the Powhatan tribe, or someone totally unimportant. Anyways, Powhatan ends up dangling from a plank bridge over a really big crevace, much in the way that Cuzco and the other guy dangled in The Emperor's New Groove. There are a few rampaging velociraptors at this point, though actually they look sort of like T-rexes. And then there's Roy Mustang, in the most ridiculous getup I think that I could have dreamed for him. He's wearing one of those floppy hats that you picture on fly fishermen, as well as a matching long beige trenchcoat... covered in what seems like rabbits feet or other scraps of fur/foliage. Camoflage, no doubt. But he's only shown floating in midair or standing in a tree or something, by way of an introduction.

The real action begins when a gas jeep come crashing through the jungle. In the jeep are random characters from the Jurassic Park novels, as well as the X-Men. Whoever the humans are, they attack the velociraptor, and there's this moment of irony when the narration declares that this is the same velociraptor that ate Regis and Muldoon (and yes, I know how the story actually goes). Everyone does their thing, and the dinosaurs are vanquished. The remaining characters from JP die anyways though, possibly, and the X-Men remain. There's Rogue, Jean Grey, Beast, Wolverine, possibly Cyclops, and a random male character who might have been Iceman. But Wolverine somehow ends up in an off-screen fight with an off-screen velociraptor, and you can hear all sorts of macho comments about his healing factor and stuff not really hurting when actually he's getting torn to bits. In the end he dies. The other X-Men are standing in a bush. Like actually in a bush. Rogue is the only one who seems sort of upset. It seems like they're just treating his passing like a fact of life. Anyways, Rogue's wondering... something. To which Jean responds by saying that actually they've all been powerless as long as they've been in the jungle (kind of Savage Land like, but that's not actually what's going on here, I think). Apparently Rogue never noticed this. Beast makes some comment about how he's so glad... but actually he still looks the same. Then it turns out that he's glad that he's host to a colony of warrior tuna, which turn out actually to be about the size of sardines and blue, and honestly living in his fur. He throws one at the random male X-Man as a joke. This is an asset.

They chat a bit, discussing how the velociraptors have lost their predatorial edge in this new environment. This is, I think, a nod towards The Lost World. The idea is that they were once like, hunting killing machines, and now they can only kill when their food is brought to them. Not really sure how that mechanism works, but as an illustration, one of them sort of lumbers by and takes no notice of our X-friends. I supposed at this point that you had to provoke/harass them in some way before they'd attack you. Beast decides that he should go collect Wolverine's corpse and they agree.

MEANWHILE. Roy Mustang rescues Powhatan from his predicament. Then he and Pocahontas share tender moments, and it's literally a montage of getting-to-know-you type scenes. In the end, he's got to go, and actually rides off on a horse, into the sunset if I'm not mistaken.

There's some conflict that leads Powhatan to declare an open tournament where the winner gets Pocahontas' hand in marriage. But Col. Mustang doesn't show! A lot of other random dudes do though. They're all in a circle, wielding knives, when Pocahontas intervenes and grabs this kid (the boy really does come up to, like, her waist, and looks vaguely like his name should be Skippy, although he looks a bit like the blond guy in all those Naruto posters (maybe it is Naruto? I've never seen it) who might have been wearing a pink fishnet shirt) and makes him drop the knife. She tries to make everyone drop their knives, and tells them off. They drop their knives and produce an arsenal of other much larger/sharper weapons. Like battleaxes and stuff.

Some decision is made and they decide to go to the burial ground. The burial ground is... a hut. Kind of like a small highway rest stop. Inside are boxes that could be seen as shrines/coffins, but some of them look extremely electronic... I think one was a jukebox, and one was an older model two-door fridge/freezer. This represented Pocahontas' grandmother. Now, there had been references before now to the grandmother and also the soul of the grandfather being trapped with the grandmother, or some really bizarre whatever, but it all sort of fell into place at this point. We (yeah, I feel compelled to say we again, though I'm not really sure why) produce a plan of the refrigerator contents, and by now we're totally certain that the grandfather (or at least his soul) is in the freezer somewhere. But we're just gonna clean out the fridge. The plan shows like ketchup and mustard bottles and I think all those things actually represented non-tangibles, but I can't remember. Then, in the freezer diagram, there was a big oval with an arrow pointing to it that read "Vic." We assumed that was the grandfather.

Anyways, we were in this process when I woke up all "what the hell."

I think this dream proved a few things about me, though I'm reluctant to really talk about what they might be.