The stones get bigger and bigger

A piece of fatherly advice that my uncle offered to one of my cousins at dinner tonight, as initially inscrutable as it was unsolicited, and repeated several times. We were picking on my cousin's "dating history" and had begun to move away from the topic when this gem was placed before us. I think what he was getting at is that by not picking the first stone you see on the beach, you have a chance to examine and choose from the bounty that remains, and that each time you pick up a stone, you will have picked a better stone. This did not come across right away, and we had a good long wtf moment to savor with one another. This was by far the most interactive Christmas dinner in history, maybe because there were fewer people so us kids could line up all along one side of the table. Also, I cooked the majority of it. I started by making cioppino stock last night, then this afternoon put together mashed potatoes, stuffed peppers (a la mrs. L), macaroni and cheese, and completed cioppino. Janice and Arthur got in around 3, rousing me from my nap, and we piled into the kitchen together. Janice made some nice bruschetta for everyone to snack on while waiting for the rest of the family to arrive, and Arthur heated up the ham and made the glaze for it.

So, a note on the peppers. These turned out very well, but I have to put a warning here to my future self: wear gloves next time, for heaven's sake. The peppers themselves looked pretty mild, and having eaten them before, I was under the impression that the heat level was fairly low. Well, it is, but that doesn't actually matter when it comes to using your bare hands to tear out the seeds. After a while, I found myself staring at my hands, wondering why I felt like they were covered in tiny little cuts. Could I have been that careless with the knife? Probably like an hour later (ok, maybe half an hour), I realized that, oh, the acid or capsaicin or whatever was burning invisibly through my flesh. So I dunked them in milk. Then rinsed them with beer. Now, nearly 12 hours, several hand-washings and a long shower later, my right hand is most definitely still on fire. It's like having my fingers on a hot range. Ooooooow.

Ok, speaking of, I just had to go flush my hand under cold water. And now I shall continue. Food was pretty good. Got a little paranoid with the cioppino, so the fish was a bit overcooked maybe. Dinner didn't last long. Afterwards, some of us sat down to watch a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother, while others started going through old medical supplies. Eventually, I ended up downstairs with Arthur, Janice, and Alex, watching the Top Chef Christmas special.

Afterwards, Janice was really into the idea of dessert. I... wasn't hungry, but I did really have a hankering for whipped cream, and you can generally get me on board to cook around midnight as long as someone else will be doing the dishes. Also, this was the first time post- late nite cooking show that I had enough ingredients/eaters on-hand to fulfill any culinary cravings. Janice thought crepes sounded like a good idea (possibly inspired by the sudden death-round offering of one of the remaining chefs), so we ventured back upstairs to search out the recipe and rustle up interest. Turns out one of my uncles had eaten 5 slices of raisin bread because he'd really wanted dessert. So I whipped up a chocolate sauce, very easy, just by heating up some milk, stirring in some cocoa powder, adding half a large bar of dark chocolate, removing from heat, whisking up, and tossing in some cinnamon and powdered sugar. It had a slightly liquid-chalk appearance before serving since some of the stuff was thrown in after the mixture had cooled, but it was still smooth, drizzly, and tasty. Arthur was de facto in charge of crepe batter and, never having made crepes before, did a really good job and keeping them thin, spongy, and moist, though the shapes ended up being rather non-traditional. Janice raided the fridge, peeling and cutting several apples, then threw them in a skillet with some butter, brown sugar (why do I keep wanting to spell that "shugar?"), vanilla, and spices. She then cut up some bananas, and also put them in butter. I added brown sugar, vanilla, and nutmeg to that. We tried mixing up some whipped cream, but the hand mixer doesn't get enough air in to actually make this work. I pulled the whisk from chocolate duty and started on the cream that way, and it was successful. I set Daniel up with the heavy arm-work, and once he got the hang of it, he whipped up some pretty nice cream. When everything finished, we set up an assembly line, and everyone came to get dessert!

Very fun. Afterwards, Arthur and Janice left with the dog, and I went for my shower. On a completely separate note: I LOVE my new hairstyle. I don't know if this can ever be replicated or not, but I hope so! Maybe I can find some reason to take pictures of myself before it starts doing its own thing again... On another separate note: I'm screwed with these apps. Haven't worked on them in earnest in a week or possibly more. Eek!

Ok, fingers still searing hot. I'm assuming I'll be able to sleep with this going on, and that it'll have burned itself out by morning.

They made me do it

I hope whoever's reading gets a good laugh out of this.

I went, bitterly, to the school yesterday afternoon to give my "speech." I'd just made a series of notes of things to touch on, and assumed that my rambling ways would fill at least 45 minutes, and that the students would be sufficiently curious to ask a few questions that would let me ramble a further 15 minutes. I went and started talking... the room was actually pretty full, and a lot of my students were there. I chose to gauge myself based on the face of a particular student, who was smiling and nodding most of the time, but about 10 minutes in, I realized that I'd lost most of the room. Soooo I just kept going. I finished with 10 minutes for questions, but there were none. The student who was chairing the lecture got up and said "due to the time, we should bring the lecture to a close..." and THEN suggested that I perform in some way for their entertainment. They wanted song or dance. Obviously I was not going to dance. And sing? Moi? You may not know this about me, but I love singing. But I love singing so that you do not know about it. I'm happy to do it in the shower, in my car, in an empty house, at drunken karaoke... yeah, that's fine. And I'd hazard that, in the absence of anyone to critique my ability, I ain't bad. But I'm sorry, put me on the spot and expect me to serenade you out of my ass, and you're in for an unpleasant experience. Anyways, there was more than 100 of them, and one of me, and this boy very humbly came up and expressed profound interest in it, and I couldn't think of any way to escape... I thought actually how much I wished I was a dude. Dudes I think can really respond to a song request however they want. Girls have some bizarre reputation to uphold with their tinking voices and such. So... I cleared my throat... a lot... reminded them that I was sick (I don't think they understood me) and after a long awkward silence...like... worst performance of "Another Day" EVER. OH MY GOD I haven't been so embarrassed in a long time. Long long time. I did not like how I felt at the end of that ordeal. I made the insistent student come up and sing also, and he came up bashfully, then like... broke into a rolicking rendition of some Chinese song about a pretty girl (I was implicated here), and it was fun. Then we were all dismissed. I spent like the next hour trying to figure out what I could have done differently to make that any less of a traumatic experience. Sigh.

Other things of note: I was recently trapped in the revolving door at the front of the Archives building. Not like I was spinning around infinitely. Like I must have dodged the sensor somehow, so the door didn't speed up once I entered it, instead rotating at what I'm assuming is its energy conserving velocity. It very clearly printed (in Chinese) at face-level (for me) on the glass not to push the door. But not quite understanding the mechanism behind the door's movement, I figured it was a 50-50 chance that pushing on it would get me out sooner, as opposed to like... setting off an alarm or something. I nudged it slightly, found that it was unforgiving, and decided just to wait and walk very slowly until I reached open air. Then I heard the guard behind me yelling. It seemed like he was saying "[something something] push it!" Well, since I wasn't pushing it, it seemed unlikely that he was telling me to stop. So after a few moments and still not quite getting what he was saying to me, I gave the door a hearty shove. Aaaand it stopped moving altogether, positioned just so I had no hope of escape either forward or backward, like a bug in a jar. A group of workers standing just outside burst into laughter. I... also laughed. The guard behind me laughed and came to my rescue. My first such experience.

kind of grossed out

in the course of my stalking, i have discovered two dead mosquitoes in this room. one was... long gone and kind of white, and that one was under the cabinet. then was another fresher one by the closet. i would like to believe that that's this evening's nemesis, but... that might be wishful thinking. meanwhile i'm extremely sleepy. functioning tomorrow will likely be an issue.

trying to lure it out with my laptop. if no response soon i'm probably just going to pass out.

vengeance will be mine

there are two things in the world i wish i had. ok, while we're at it, there are 3. one is my absentee ballot. come on warren county board of elections! wake up you bastards!

not long ago, i knew the joys of peaceful slumber. i fell asleep some time after 12, and again, not long after awoke having been supped on. i was PISSED. i now have turned on all the lights in my room and have been mounting an all-out offensive on the biggest ugliest flying blood-sucking piece of shit. it will not survive this night, and, granted how tired i am, neither might i. also, it's only big because it's full of my blood and i will not rest until its insides are smeared on the walls.

so, back to those things i wish i had. 1) a citronella candle. i have what is apparently a mosquito repeller, but what i want is one of those things that draws them in and then kills them. i recall the picnic table at our campout back when, and what i waaant is a killing field of mosquitoes. 2) one of those electrified badminton rackets that they've developed over here expressly for frying these little fuckers. I did used to have one of those in Beijing and I am going out tomorrow and buying another one and keeping it by my bed like a shotgun.

if you can't tell i'm really angry and itchy and sleep-deprived. i am doing the latimes crossword.

Twice Shy

Last night I went to bed at some point after 12:30.

I dreamt, possibly of momentous things, but then in my dream I started feeling itchy. Oh crap I remember now. I was dreaming about Sarah Palin... I was watching her on TV and was convinced that she was somehow making me itch. Then I started waking up, and was in a semi-delirious state, scratching at various parts of my arms and trying to get back to sleep. Then I realized that I was honestly very itchy and scratching at swollen bumps and freaked out. I thought it must be like 6 or 7 in the morning, but when I turned the light on, I discovered it was only 2:50. I decided to go to the bathroom mirror to check myself out, and there I found 4 large fresh white-hot welts on my arms and index finger. I continued cussing in amazement. I was still pretty out of it and my mind raced to explain the situation. Usually I'm very sensitive to the sound of mosquitos, so I wasn't sure if that was it. But they didn't look like spider bites, and I ruled out hives and other allergies. For a fleeting moment I feared bedbugs (OK, I always fear bedbugs), but having thrown the sheets around in search of any insectoid culprit and come up clean, it seemed like it had to have been a mosquito after all. Still couldn't find any sign of one in the room though, and I thought that any single mosquito only bit like once or something before going off to lay eggs... or something.

Anyways, in the course of 2 hours, I acquired my 2nd-5th mosquito bites all year. There's another reason San Francisco rules. They have since swollen pink to the standard size of an inch or two in diameter. I'm lucky though... even if I somehow drew my attacker in with my smooth skin and comely ways, it seems my exposed face wasn't quite attractive enough to be ravished the way the rest of me was. It came away unscathed.

The last 2 days

Apologies to my future self (and anyone who happens to care whether I update or not) for my delinquency. You know how it is when lots of smaller significant things happen and you don't want to write about all of it because you think you might be sitting in front of the computer a long time and somehow cheapening the actual experience with poor diction. I might as well mention a few things though. I don't know when people start showing up here to start using the computer, so we'll see how far I get.

So that "last thoughts" entry didn't work out at all, for the obvious reason that I didn't want to spend my last day in Baotou sitting in our sweltering apartment just blogging about it. Would you believe that I wasn't packing up until the last minute this time around? That isn't to say that things weren't hectic though or borderline dramatic even. The greatest obstacle, and a number of people have noticed my rants about this, was the disappearance of running water from my life. I've been doing anticipatory loads of laundry for weeks, and was systematically storing everything in my suitcases as I went. The weather got wet and chilly just before Chen's visit, causing me to break out a few heavier articles, but things were going more or less efficiently. Until Monday. I got up at 6:30 to put an early end to all the laundry business, and managed to wash the vast majority of everything, but then spent the rest of the morning at the children's home. I was back and ready to dig in again at about 3 in the afternoon, at which point I managed to dampen what remained of my dirty clothes with just enough water for things to be really difficult before never having water again. Ting shui isn't the rarest occurrence around there, and often will just result when one of the upstairs households uses the shower or something. Typically if they actually just shut the water off, it's back within hours at the most. So I spent pretty much the rest of the day going back and forth, checking the status of the shower, and subsequently cursing the heavens above.

No water has a lot of other consequences too. Water is an integral component in the operation of flush toilets. To wash your hands, you traditionally need water. And really, just forget about showering and all the other trappings of personal hygiene. For a while, the toilet situation was workable. Just hold it for a few hours as water trickles into the tank, and complete one satisfying flush cycle before hoping that you won't have to pee again anytime soon. Then, for post-potty handwashing, take advantage of the tiny 5-second jet that spews out of the faucet (also once every couple hours) and remove residual suds with baby wipes. And that worked fine for a while, and I still sustained the hope that our water would, at some point, return.

Packing went smoothly enough, though I did get very gross and dusty in the process. Even as my luggage filled, it seemed there was still plenty of just plain crap sitting around EVERYWHERE.

But I went off to Alice's house for dinner with her family, and when we all came back, there was still no water. Flushing became hit-or-miss. Around 11, we took our toothbrushes and biked back over to her apartment so that we could at least wash up a bit before bed. Her mom said that if water didn't come back the next morning that I could finish my laundry there.

Got up early the next day, came comfortably close to being finished, then called up Alice's dad about borrowing their machine only to discover that they no longer had water either. In fact, most of Baotou reported that there was no water. Well, most as in everyone Alice and I talked to. As the day went on, lower floors got water back... The fruit guy had his usual bucket of water on the sidewalk... other signs like that... but for us on the 5th floor, well... the toilet had quit flushing altogether. The situation still hadn't resolved itself by the time I left, and all I could really do was apologize for not having been able to do the dishes or clear the toilet of its... contents.

I hadn't showered in two days, which while bearable, was undesirable in the Baotou heat/dust.

As for the laundry, it wasn't clean and it wasn't dry. So that all went into random plastic bags to be dealt with here. The problem was that my Cornell sweatshirt actually managed to bleed all over my other things while they were sitting in the washing machine (it bled like a wounded animal), so... that was a nice discovery.

But anyway, I was at a stopping point at about 3... maybe earlier, and was pretty much just this bundle of nervous energy. You know like when you can't stop moving at all and nothing can calm you down. I was extremely aware of the heat and stuffiness, and also of the toilet being the way it was. So, in my final hours, I took my book and my ipod and went out for a stroll.

I got through a few pages of Lolita then had to stop. I couldn't really calm myself down. It had started after lunch time-- I had lunch with Dave at a Muslim noodle shop, as kind of a book-end to our first solo meal back in February-- and on the way back just got to thinking about being home and about being in Beijing, and doing something new at last. It got my blood circulating and I went off like a runaway train. But more like a sentient runaway train that suddenly realizes that it has no track. So I closed my book and began walking. The idea was to go to the fruit stand, but the fruit guy was across the street. As an alternative, I started walking towards the training center. It seemed like a place I should visit "one last time." The campus was really pleasant and quiet. Still on kind of an internal rampage though.

On my way back, YJ was back on his side of the street. So we talked until Alice came home and I had to get back to crunch time.

I already miss him a lot. You really don't expect in this day and age to meet someone that you can never see or communicate with again. But that's what happened in this case. There is absolutely no practical way for us to keep in touch at all, and slim is an optimistic way of describing our chances of ever running into each other again. I dunno, I have really strong yuanfen with some people sometimes, so I guess we'll see. But it's all just very sad and poignant.

There was actually some drama on Monday night that I'm not going to get into here, but it's a really... interesting story.

Getting to Beijing was another thing entirely, and I'll have to talk about it separately. I need to go check out my phone options. Trying to decide if I should just recharge my Baotou number or just forget it and replace it with a Beijing sim.

I'm ok though, if a bit itchy, and I showered twice last night!

More on that gravity thing

Actually, does anyone remember that Garfield and Friends episode where the rooster convinces someone (if there was a crazy duck on the show, it was probably him) that they repealed the law of gravity and they sang a song about it?

Anyways, yesterday, one of my fears proved to be a totally rational one when I fell off the back of a bike. Ok, so it's actually happened before, but I'm wearing band-aids now and people [who know me] keep asking what happened to my face. People who don't seem to be following a better code of etiquette than I do or have much better things to think about, because I always ask things like that.

But whatever, yesterday I was running a bit late to my class at the #1 school because I opted for the bus, which is in a random classroom on the far end of the campus that I didn't even know existed all last semester. I teach my Sunday morning kids class on Saturdays now in that classroom. I was crossing the soccer field (I think) and saw one of the kids' moms, who was presumably scouting for me, and she offered to take me the rest of the way on her bike. I was concerned, because the rest of the way involves a gradient that it's almost scary to run down, but I thought what the heck it might be fun. And it was, at first. When we got to the bottom of the hill though, the bike started swerving and tilting a lot, and I didn't know really what to make of it... I thought I might fall, so decided I'd better jump, but whatever really happened, I fell face-first into the concrete. Well, yeah, so I broke the fall with the palm of one hand and the knuckles of the other (hence the bandages). And since my legs were pretty much straight when I made contact, and I was wearing jeans, I got by with a small skinned bruise on one of my knees. My big ol' purse must have padded me in some way, though I can't even guess how, and I skinned my cheekbone. I went in and taught, and felt kinda nasty because I couldn't point to anything without giving my students an eyeful of bloody shredded sores, but I figured they were used to it. The mom kept asking me if it still hurt, and of course it stang, but really-- really-- I just told her how it is: I fall all the time. Period. At this point, it's managed to confound my daily routine quite a bit though, because those injuries are in just the places you really need to put your hair into a pony tail efficiently/successfully, and it's hard to wash chopsticks/any other dishes, so I'm running out of all those things. And I have something very much like whiplash, but only in my left arm, and I can't even begin to tell you why that would be.

Anyways, a little story to add to all the rest.

Gravity, and how it applies to me

Well, since coming to Baotou, I've developed an interesting fear that I did not have before. I am talking about my newfound fear of falling down a manhole. Is this a distinct possibility? Well... I really can't say. I have unwittingly walked very near open manholes, and I have to say that they do kind of sneak up on you. It's not like you expect to find open manholes anywhere, but every once in a while, someone will remove one of the covers and leave no trace of a warning. Knowing my own tendency towards falling in all manners, and my hit or miss attention span, I would say it's a valid fear. Manholes, for their part, are inexplicably dark for how sunny it is outside, and unreadable in their depths. Also, I'm sure that they're full of all sorts of nasty shit, and that any sudden descent into the sewers would be every bit as painful as they make it look in cartoons.

Having shared that...

It is cold once again. We had a warm spell, but boy, was it short! What followed was a lot of snow and an intense wind that lasted for 2 days. I watched the wind blow from my window at night, more or less drawn by the sound-- the equivalent of a train whistle. The streets create a kind of wind tunnel, so everything was swept efficiently away. Everything includes a few of the lanterns people had hanging out for spring festival. With snow, as always, comes the solid sheet of ice that covers all the roads and most of the sidewalks. Going anywhere becomes a perilous enterprise, and with the wind... well, my mass is such that high wind + low friction = wooooo!

Don't ask why, but I was so sure that we were out of the woods for this type of weather. But no. Actually, I should have known. It had to snow one more time at least, so that I could wipe out at least once. Why on earth would I suspect that I could live through such an icy winter without falling on my ass?

So today, I fulfilled my destiny. Dave and I were on our way to teach our first classes at No. 9 Middle School when I unwisely stepped on this little ice... slope... and I had the most spectacular fall-- even by my standards. One of my mittens, which I was wearing, even went flying a few feet. Because the fall involved my sliding very quickly down a gradient (the part of a the sidewalk that slopes to meet the street), there was that feeling of going horizontal in mid-air before coming crashing down. I made contact with the sidewalk all along the right side of my body, and it was like snowboarding all over again. I have a nice long bruise down my thigh, though it's mostly the invisible kind, and also tennis elbow in my arm. I guess maybe it's because I landed on my hand (the one that lost the mitten, so it didn't feel nice). It hurts to sit and also to put my hood up, but like...not a lot. Mostly just enough for me to talk about it. Anyways, I elected not to look too closely at the patch of ice where I fell, though I do know that there was a discarded apple core very near my face.

But anyways, that was an exciting addition to my day, and therefore I ended up dwelling on it... a lot. I mean... I did have class, and it was interesting, and I did have dinner, and it was tasty, but mostly today will be the day that ate it. Though... actually I have been having a lot of flashbacks to dinner and the vinegar that was there. Ooooo.

Class... well, I modified a lesson from last semester that was really fun, but in my opinion, it felt really dull. So I was really bored with my own lesson. That means I'll switch it out with something else when we have class again on Friday. The students were really... bright-eyed. If they had tails, they would have been bushy. So I felt bad that my lesson was so yawn-tastic. Ah well. Next time. I will redeem myself!

Dinner was xian[r] bing, but a different variety than I've had before. These were more like round guotie, and the filling was a bit drier. Also, they were smaller and therefore 500 times easier to manage. I think I prefer these, and foresee many take-out trips to this restaurant, which is right across from the school.

Apparently my arm/wrist hurts also when I type a lot, which I do not like, so I am stopping now. I get to visit the orphanage tomorrow... I hope I can find something to do there!

I've been places -or- Moldy news

And that's the reason that I haven't been able to update this at all. I did make one attempt at an internet cafe in Jishou that was finally able to even connect to blogger, but there was some error at the end of it all, and I basically just stopped trying after that.

Anyways, I am back in Baotou now... arrived yesterday just before noon, and I'm ready to tell all about the rollicking good times I had all over the place. Errr... to be narrower in my description, I'm not ready to tell *at this moment* because my attention span says no, but I'm psyching myself up for it. I've been keeping tabs along the way of all the things I've wanted to note, and hopefully I'll be able to recount everything in some detail. Just not today! Instead, I'm going to list a, uh, table of contents, because I'm most definitely going to be doing this piecemeal. Sort of to make things easier to swallow and also so that I don't build up a psychological barrier to updating.


Just so this particular post doesn't get classified just as one of those stupid frank "I've got a blog" entries, I'll introduce the new situation with my refrigerator. Our fridge was unplugged while I was gone, presumably to save energy, but when I opened it yesterday, I discovered that much of its interior surface area is covered in mold. Quite smelly mold. Mold akin to bread mold, fortunately, so it doesn't appear slimy or orange or anything like that. Also there is an egg in there, which makes me very uneasy. I went out to the store today and bought some cleaning cloths, a kitchen cleaner that's hopefully anti-bacterial, and what I assume is an odor neutralizer for the aftermath. Actually, I tried to communicate to one of the sales ladies that I needed something to clean my fridge because it molded, and she insisted that there's no cleaning solution I can use because you put food in there, and that I should just wipe it with water. Well, maybe soap and water might be effective enough for SOME (okay, maybe most) people, but I personally want the peace of mind that all microorganisms in that fridge expired in a storm of chemicals. Sales ladies have this tendency to give me doubtable information about... everything. It makes it harder for me to trust. Anyways, I bought some things I thought might work, and also have an antiseptic that I use with my laundry that I was thinking about splashing in there too.

I then decided that I didn't want to do that today either, so I'm psyching myself up for that as well.

Tomorrow will be such a full day!

an update but only sort of?

At last, I've found an internet bar where the connection's speedy enough to connect to this damn website!

Anyways, currently I'm in Hunan, which is a far way from where I was... before. For the curious, Liz's visit was quite exciting, though the most interesting thing I could do for her was to take her on a food tour of the city. She did come with me to all my classes, and we managed to take a trip to Hohhot and watched lots of movies, but it was cold enough that I was mostly content to feed her and stay inside places.

Turns out that I had to administer a test on Thursday to the training center students. Let's just say I found out about that one very recently. I think I made up a pretty nice test though. The only thing was, that it was sort of a more... ostentatious type of exam, meaning that *cough* they're supposed to pass *cough*. I made them work for it though. I only copied about 30 pages though, since an average of only 6-12 people had been showing up the last couple days. Whew. Nearly everyone showed up. It was really, um, surprising. I'll miss that class I think.

As soon as Liz left on the 10th, I definitely got an itchy throat. It progressed to screaming burning pain over the next couple days, and after having taken a bunch of random medication, I took a nap on the 13th only to wake up unable to speak at all. It was just a sort of feeling that said "don't even bother trying." So I didn't.

Ooh. I have to leave. Haha, not what I meant to say, but there you have it.

ugh

i'm really bitter right now because there's no water in my apartment, so the toilet won't flush and i had to brush my teeth with water from the purifying tank, which, by this exercise, i have discovered carries some very freaky, very *large* particles.

anyways, i've meant to update with fun stories about witnessing an attempted pocket-picking, the nature of ice in baotou, a fun package from my mother, the trip i'm planning in january, a series of successful classes, and a series of awfully boring ones (probably my bad), but yo, now is not the time. blllllllgh.

Some outdated irony

Not really relevant anymore, but here's some irony that I appreciated a few days ago.

On Thursday when we came out of our high school classes, R declared that that day the equipment had been "out to get him," at which point I lost patient and reiterated my belief that he shouldn't rely on technology or dvds to teach his lessons if he can't handle the glitches. I fear I may have hurt his feelings but I don't know how many hints I can give before I come out and say "I don't think your way is a very good idea." Later that night, I was in the training center trying to get through as much of Eternal Sunshine as possible because I don't want them to be watching 10 minute snatches of it forever (esp. if I may have to drop that class, more on that when I have more info). Buuuut, no one had set up the projector ahead of time, so I had three of the men checking every plug, climbing chairs, and pushing various buttons, very very early in the lesson, for which I had no real emergency plan, and with no results whatsoever.

One of them, in a stroke of genius, pressed some random button hidden in a strange place that I couldn't find again if you asked me, finally got it all together for us, but geez. Talk about a karmic smackdown.

Details, details, me being pissed, and when words become tasty

[In this installment: today, yesterday, food habits, appliances, teaching, going apesh*t, and a colorful restaurant review]

Today I awoke at 6:something from what amounted to a teaching nightmare to find that my abdomen was still inflated like a balloon. I'd been tossing and turning for goodness knows how long, from confrontation after confrontation with confused and irritated students and some righteous gastro-intestinal injury. Basically, I'd eaten an unusually large portion at dinner previously and it appeared that none of it had yet begun the journey to digestion and was just hanging out in my stomach. So actually this morning sucked, because I knew I still had 2ish lessons to plan for today. I sat up straight for a while, consumed an oreo, took some pepto, and tried the sleeping thing again, really uninterested in puking in any way.

After my alarm officially roused me around 9, I managed to pass out again (you know how that goes). This time, I had a really interesting dream about "King's Island" (only not really), getting pizza and candy there with Selina, some holiday, a small child, a bunch of Chinese people who are related to me, and... stuff. Whatever, it was weird, and I woke up during this really emotional part that involved lots of cheesy pizza.

You see, the restfulness of my sleep has not improved.

Anyways, classes today went all right. The training center students now have THREE textbooks! I was like... what?? When I realized a few days ago that they'd all paid for the first two and were already in possession of them, I started building some lessons around those. The first day was boooring, cuz I didn't get the corresponding tapes (yes, cassette tapes!) until 30 min into the lesson, and not everyone brought their books, and also I wasn't 100% sure of the most efficient way to use them. I've since determined that some of the activities are just plain dumb, but have also accepted the usefulness of some of the others to spur discussion. So that ended up warming things up today after the initial blaaaah of the recorded dialogues.

My ideal class would be smaller, with a more consistent level of advancement. But oh well. At least when they're doing activities, I get to move around and check on their degree of understanding. It's actually, like, my favorite part and I'm hopeful that it helps, but really they're the ones who'd know about that-- not me. Sadly. Today we did introductions (almost as done as it sounds, but with a bit of logic behind it, coming from a book) and superstitions, which was fun and COINCIDENTALLY (whoa) appropriate since yesterday was you-know-when.

When I got back, Alice and her mom were home getting dinner started. In case you wonder, I've been subsisting largely on a diet of potatoes and rice, and, uh, losing weight in spite of it. All my clothes started fitting better again almost as soon as the plane landed. It's been pretty sweet. Anyways, tonight there was rice, potatoes and... leeks? with extra soy, and some leftovers from when the Lees cooked lunch here the other day-- the green remains of some di san xian (Alice's mom insists that it's just stir-fried eggplant... i guess since the green peppers and potatoes are more common) and some stir-fried potato slices with green pepper. The leftovers were brought to us by our brand new microwave, which we picked up Thursday morning from the 5th floor of Wangfujing department store. The microwave... was Y400, but interestingly enough has a function that admits the use of metal... I believe it's the "Lightwave." I don't know anything about it, so I'm reluctant to use anything other than nuke hi until I can get details on the instructions from Alice. Also it was big and we had to drag it down all the floors by escalator and then wheel it home on the back of the bike.

I started still another class with high schoolers today, this time only 7 students. There were two English teachers present, moms of two of the boys. They came to the apartment at 8 tonight, and we talked for about an hour before they all left. They were pretty enthusiastic, but most of them have some big exams this weekend (class will be 2 hrs long, starting next week). I felt bad though, cuz one of the girls kept insisting that they had absolutely no free time to watch movies or listen to music since they spend so much time at school and on homework. I was like... damn, 1) I'm glad to be out of high school, 2) I'm glad I went to a US public school.

Viewed 10 Things I Hate About You, courtesy of iTunes, for the 3rd time in perhaps just as many days, but the idea was to show it to Alice since we watched Brokeback Mountain the other day (agreed: it should have won, and crash is a sillier movie than ever) and I wanted her to know that Heath Ledger can enunciate when the script calls for it. As you see, it's been a good week for movies.

Friday marked the end of my first week of real classes at the high school. This second lesson was mostly about getting them in the right mindset for learning English-- first present the potential, then discuss it. Also, I wanted to get an idea of the subjects they usually talk about with their friends (in case I'm more out of touch than I thought). And we listened to/analysed "It's Beginning To Get To Me" by Snow Patrol. I want to equate the first class of the week to a firstborn child. That is, they get the raw unadulterated lesson, which has had no feedback, no correction, and they have to deal with any unrealistic expectations that may exist. The kids are all really charming though. I thought that my first lesson, which involved throwing a ball and sitting around chittering while other kids had the spotlight, would make them think that it was ok to be unruly. But boy, do they listen to you when you speak! By Friday though, I was way bored with my own lesson (and I have to do the same thing for the other classes next week, ick), and changed it a little-- for the better evidently. Instead of my blind quest for a group analysis of the song (which left me explaining most of it), I was like "ok, you figure it out for yourselves." Yay for getting to walk around and talk to everyone!

Meanwhile, and this is something I HAVE to complain about, Russ spent all week screening Fellowship of the Ring. I know he's declared vehemently that he doesn't want to teach high schoolers, but I don't see what the big deal is. In a lot of ways, they're a lot easier to teach than the adults-- they're no less cooperative, and due to the miracle of a 5-7 year (still not sure which) curriculum, they understand more of what you say, sooner. Also, hey, you have slightly more power over them, weird as that sounds. Anyway, the story began on Monday, when Alice asked me and Russ if we had our lesson outlines prepared. He said yes, and I said no. By lesson outline, she meant like a handout that they could photocopy for the students. I was expecting to have until Tuesday morning. At all this extra information, Russ was like "what?" Turns out he had a lesson plan, but had no idea that anyone had ever asked for a handout (which I'm sure has been brought up before). The next morning, I got up bright and early to type everything out and finalize like my song choice and all that, and had the original sheet printed by the time Alice woke up. She left to photocopy and didn't come back for hours.

When she finally got back, I was like... did you really have to wait that long? I was curious because she only needed to make 300 copies of each outline, and having walked various print jobs to the Olin copy center, I figured that no matter what equipment it was, it couldn't have taken that long. She said, with some exasperation, "I was waiting for Russ!" I had heard her call him before she left to make sure that he had something, but he still didn't even by the time she got there. What he wound up giving her was a handwritten sheet with a few random terms from freaking LOTR written on it with colons after them. I looked at this paper and not all of my laughter could be suppressed. Seriously, anyone who had this handed to them would have a big WTF branded hard across their forehead. I was like, you are shitting me, plain and simple. But no. Alice's aunt had bought a computer for Russ to use, so Alice was like, can't you at least type it? Well no. He refused to revise the "outline" (like hell) in any way, saying that he never wanted to teach the high schoolers and that they could fire him if they wanted. What makes this situation more exasperating is that he's leaving in January anyways, when a new teacher is scheduled to arrive, and we really don't want him to leave sooner than that.

So Alice didn't copy that.

We went to the school early to sort out all the technical matters associated with him playing that damn movie, and they almost couldn't get it to play. But since my equipment was controlled by a console I'd never encountered before, I asked Alice and Teacher Ding (who's in charge of the language lab Russ was using) to figure out my stuff while I messed around with the DVD. Proud to say that my experiments bore fruit, and quickly, and I was off.

I had the training center that night, so Alice and I were dropped off within walking distance (well... in campus/city terms, I suppose). She'd sat in on Russ's class and was nice enough to describe it to me. I would probably have been really pissed if I'd been sitting in there. He'd insisted that he would only show about 15 minutes of the film, but actually spent 40 min or something on it. Only... the way he did it... he apparently played it, unsubtitled in any language, then stopped it and repeated all the lines, and wrote them on the board. Alice had told me earlier what Russ had told her that his plan was: 15 minutes of the movie and then October holidays. Fucking holidays! So the first day at the hospital and training center, we'd been surprised by the fact that we had to actually teach a lesson (this was the day after we arrived), so he turned randomly to a page in a book, saw the word "holidays" and insisted that we do holidays. So holidays, to me, says "I don't want to think of anything else to teach." But also he wanted to do just October holidays. Alice said that since we teach the same lesson to two sets of kids for 2 weeks, she was afraid he'd just teach nothing but month-specific holidays all year. Which I think was a valid fear.

So I asked if he managed to teach Halloween ok, since it was the only Oct. holiday I could think of. She said no, he didn't make it to Halloween. I was like, uh? What eclipses Halloween? Well, apparently Columbus Day does. Along with Columbus day, evidently, came a Spanish lesson. Yes. In his ENGLISH class, Russ taught SPANISH. And also a smattering of racial terms, which I saw evidence of the next day.

The next day, we walked into the classroom and I looked at the board and just had to roll my eyes. Remember now, that I'm a huge Fellowship fan, but I'm sure you agree when I assert that the usefulness of the language in those first 15 minutes is... well, these are 9th graders. They have English exams that will determine their candidacy for college. "They were all of them deceived" will probably not help them. "Nine rings were gifted to the race of men" probably won't either. Neither will the word "Mongoloid" which was scribbled in an area of the board with a lot of other "-oid" type words that no one ever uses. So additionally, the language in this movie, apart from being a little ornate and dusty, is very standard British. Russ hasn't got a British accent. As far as I know, he has no intention to teach British English. In my opinion, this makes his lesson hyper-inconsistent.

What else adds to that? Well, the second day, when I asked if there was any more Spanish, Alice reported that Russ showed the movie until there were only 5 min. left in class. That is the time that he decided to say "let's have a 5 minute break!" In my experience all week, the kids are already a little confused when we end at 5:40 as we're told to, because the bell doesn't ring until 5:50 (the time class would be over if we observed the 10 minute break that occurs 40 min into class). So that's like... what?

The next day, Alice spent the period in the hall talking with Mr. Yuan (the man we had dinner with that one night and who's sort of in charge of the fact that we're there) and Mr. Ding. So I end up finding out from Russ himself that the audio didn't work that day. So I was like "maaan, what did you do?" Because Tuesday he'd insisted that he had a back up plan "in his head" when I sorta criticised him for having such a tech-dependent lesson (I was considering the fact that he's technologically inept, to be totally totally frank in my words). I was interested in knowing how he'd pulled it together. Still optimistic, I promise you. Until he said that he'd just showed the movie anyway and did the voices himself. Eh!

Whew. That was long-winded, but you know how I like to get things off my chest. So I know that I have my own short-comings, but here's what I have to say. I don't care if there's something you don't want to do if it needs to be done. It's of absolutely no inconvenience to him to teach these classes and take the effort to do it well. Of the two of us, he's the one who's TEFL certified, so what the fuck is going on? These students are not released from that school until 7:20 or some such, and I think they actually have to go back until like 10, and their only chance to eat before 7:20 is the time they get after our class before their next one starts. So really, can't he just reflect for a moment and then give them something worth learning? They're in our classes voluntarily and are really excited to have us there. I just wish he'd show them some real respect.

And I know that he thinks he's doing well, but I'd have freaking murdered my language teachers by now if that's all we did in class. And who knows-- maybe the students enjoy it? But anyways, as of now, my opinion on this matter is that this sucks and I just wanted to say so.

End rant. Ah. Maybe I've been nastier than usual. Whatever, we took the bus back that night and Alice and I booked to Xiang La Xia ("fragrant spicy shrimp" it means, and they ain't lying) to meet her mom for dinner. It's the 3rd time I've been there-- we had our first Baotou dinner there, and ate with Mr. Yuan there to discuss the high school-- and it really doesn't get old. Tell me if there's any way this can get old: The first plane of eating manifests in a large stainless steel pot/wok. It's brought to your table containing a jumble of shrimp, wings, potatoes, cauliflower, carrots, and bundles of starch noodles dripping in bright spicy oils. You eat and eat and eat, while sipping a really lovely tea that's sometimes lightly sweetened, with dried dates and a guiyuan (described as a cheap lychee/longan type fruit) floating in it. But no matter how much you eat, the meal does not end. There is a second plane of eating. There is another level, another step. There is eating 2.0. Once you've deemed that you're done with phase one, they bring out a second menu. Then they dump a bowl of chilis and spices into the pot, add some broth, and light a gas burner underneath. Then come plates of other delectables: raw lamb, beef, or pork, leafy greens, vermicelli, mushrooms of all varieties, tofus of different makes-- all these can be yours! On this occasion, we ordered some frozen tofu, golden needle mushrooms, and vermicelli. I actually doubt that what we had last night was frozen tofu but really some potato-derived bread-like substance that we'd eated on a previous night. Alice may have misunderstood what I'd asked for. But it was essentially what I was after. Both frozen tofu and this mysterious substance have a sponge-like consistency that is really bizarre at first bite. What I'm saying is that it's like eating a sponge. But it's like eating a DELICIOUS sponge. What happens is that all the little pores lock in the super-spicy soup and it's like an endorphin-explosion in your face. Then we got some noodles on the house-- someone comes by with a plate of dough pieces about 3-4 inches in length, then wh-ptsch! they grab both ends of one, whip it up and down a few times, and you've got a noodle a yard long. If they're the right thickness when they go in the soup, the noodles come out nice and chewy.

Because of the operation on her throat, Alice's mom wasn't in a position to eat spicy food. So all that stuff that I just described... I ate about half of it, and Alice ate the other half. I mean, it's an exaggeration: Mrs. Lee ate many of the chicken wings and we had a lot leftover in the end, but... anyways, that brings me back to the beginning of this entry and the stomach that was full for nearly 12 hours.

Ear today

Here's something interesting: I can feel my heartbeat in my earlobe. Yep. Over a year from the day it was pierced (sometime during fall break), it still inflates and stings and itches and sucks as it pleases. It is currently doing all those things.

I just finished week one of actual lessons at the high school. I really love it there!

***
This entry was originally written on 10/13/06, but I have just found it unpublished in a pile of entries on 5/3/07. Iiiinteresting.

Uptown Girl + Lesson angst

Waiting for my hair to dry so I can pass out for many many hours.

I got back a little while ago from a little KTV excursion with Alice & her friends. KTV? That means karaoke actually. Something I discovered about myself: I can't sing Uptown Girl without a serious serious twang. I was like, whoa, all of a sudden from Kentucky. The place didn't have a wide selection of English songs (and no one else really knew any anyways), though I was able to jump in for part of a Jay Chou song I've heard before. I bet some of you have encountered it at bubble tea at one time or another. Alice put on "When I Fall in Love" for me, but another thing I discovere was that I know about 9 words of that song. Had some "black beer" that had a really nice toffeeish accent to it. Funny cuz I was just thinking earlier how much I missed darker beers.

It may be hard to imagine, but just try for a moment... I am soooo tired here. With more sleep and less work, I'm more exhausted on a daily basis in this country than I ever was at Cornell. I've been trying to figure out why. I mean... yes there was the Hohhot extravaganza, but that's not wholly unusual in essentials. Yesterday I had 5 hours worth of class, more or less back to back, and today I had 3 hrs... that doesn't seem to equate to any large amount of duress. So I dunno. Diet change? Also, my pseudo-ADD isn't really being fed, so maybe I'm just boring easily. Easily bored. Easy to be bored. Uh.

------

Anyways, about that 3 hr class this morning. Yesterday I taught 3-6 at the hospital, then 7-9 at the training center. My lesson really depended on the students interacting and taking off on vibrant flights of fancy and just making shit up. For a game. I like activities since they give me a chance to move around the room and not just lecture which is stupid. Well, activities/discussions have been working fine at the training center, but yesterday was my first day back in the hospital in ages. And there were 7 people in attendance. And perhaps the game was too complicated.

You see, these people are adults. We can do simple activities, if I want my classes to be inane. But, and I feel failure in this, I could NOT, no matter how many different words I used how many times, get them to understand the point of the activity. The idea was to make a prediction, trade it with someone else, assume that a period time has passed and the prediction has come true, and answer questions based on that. So like "you will be a successful mother," for a question like "what do you do in your free time," begets an answer like "oh, I read to my children and help them with their homework." Even if you are childless. Like myself (some of the students made me answer several questions according to this one).

The training center made it through the interview because I physically enacted the process a few times. The hospital did not make it through the trade. So I moved on and ended up with a ton of extra time. And an ice cream bar. Which makes teaching at a white board difficult.

So not the most successful lesson, I'll be making that note. Then I learned that my next class would be 9-12 today. So I got a bit nervous that I would be unable to plan a good lesson in time, and be stuck with two strike-outs in a row. And last night I was nigh incoherent. My last act before bed was to make a skeleton of a few of the related concepts I've been wanting to address but for which I've been unable to gather the right resources. I basically decided that since I have the ability to motor in the morning (waking up is the tough part, but I've done some good work at 5am), I'd just get all the lyrics, reviews, poems, videos, and so on in the morning.

This morning I got up at 6 and managed it all by 8:30. I had printouts and everything. A series of websites open on my laptop full of news and pictures and so on. Cuz this was a fucking 3 hour class. Who even does that?

I opened with the poems. First one by Robert Frost. The idea is that poetry from that era, with ample examples from Frost, have a definite rhyme scheme, so you can always be sure that certain words are always going to sound alike. This was a good check for my kids last year (not to be underestimated for being 8th graders) for pronunciation for some words that looked different. More importantly, poems like Stopping By Woods have lines with very specific syllable allowances and predictable, consistent stress patterns. This is not a luxury that speakers often get, right? And Chinese speakers especially add random syllables here and there and get confused about multisyllable stress. So I just wanted to show them a way to practice.

That was sort of to harken back to the last class. Then I followed up with a modern poem that I found. Full of nice descriptors, idioms, and metaphor. Also an easy concept to grasp. Here I wanted to show what poetry has become-- you know, a vehicle for expression and so on. And you know, a ton of our language, things we say all the time, take cues from devices that you find everywhere in poetry. No one learns figurative language straight off in an esl class, and I noticed when we did song lyrics that the whole metaphor/symbol/allusion thing wasn't getting across. I suspected that they were taking things too literally, so I just wanted to give them an introduction to that.

Then a Guster song. One, trying to pinpoint what type of music they're willing to listen to. Would have discussed the lyrics if we had time (when we actually did, I'd forgotten that I hadn't done that, so that was my flub). But mainly I wanted them to talk to me about the song. As an example I added a clip of a music snob review of the album it came from. No expectations of them understanding this piece, because music reviews can be pretty dizzying (this one was a bit kinder though). But I wanted to show them what loaded words are like, and why we use them, and that we use them all the time. Adjectives that we commonly use, and adjectives that the dude made up on the spot. Different ways that we use words that have certain technical meanings ("bipolar" for example). I was hoping for some discussion of the song. But, silence.

By that time, I wanted to change the pace a bit, so I broke out some movie trailers for The Lake House, The Guardian, and Stranger than Fiction. Little discussion arose, so I finished with a short National Geographic video of salt mines and desert crossings. I will admit now that iTunes has been a nice resource for free stuff. This was the point that Connie came back in.

I may have mentioned her before, but she is in charge of this class, and when she's in the room, she dominates it. You know... I like her. I like most people. But ooh. I'll get to that later. Anyway, she was called out at the very beginning of class to identify some dead birds, so she basically missed everything before the salt mine video.

Then, because yesterday she'd said something about American food being simple (to the effect of hamburgers and hot dogs), I had some menu examples and photos of restaurant food. Unfortunately, she and her son were the only ones from yesterday's class to realize that this was a response to something.

After that, she was called out again. So I decided that for the last 30 min we could go back to the review and define some words so they could read it later. No one asked me any questions! So I just went through and defined a lot of things I thought they might not be able to interpret on their own (right every time). Connie came back in and looked at the review. With 10 minutes left she gave me a criticism of my lesson. She said that I jumped from topic to topic so much in one lesson that it wasn't good.

So criticism. Whatever. I need that. But actually she wasn't in class. Additionally, she did this during class time in both Chinese and English. She said it nicely, but I was still like... thanks? For nothing! I don't know, but I just feel inherently that I would have done it differently. The thing was, she asked the other students if they agreed, and none of them said anything! It would have been more helpful if someone had agreed. Or if someone had said that the lesson was helpful. Any response. As it is, I have yet another opinion from Connie about how class should be.

Now, I have my own criticisms about the class. Having gone through it point by point, I see where maybe I could have expanded on something. It's just something I didn't see until now. But also, it's clear that for the hospital class, I'm having a lot of trouble facilitating discussion. The training center has great discussions-- it's a blast. I can ask them all the questions I want and lead them whatever direction, and they're responsive (except for yesterday, when they thought I was crazy). This troubles me because I can't yet figure out why this is happening. I'm going to e-mail their last teacher, Tevie, who's been great about answering my Baotou questions thus far. Apparently Connie loved her class. I've checked out Tevie's formula though, and it's like... nothing out of the ordinary. So she was a theatre major. And like 50. But still. I'm youthful and exuberant. Talk to me, dammit!

I mean, please don't get me wrong. The students are really awesome people. But they're not the best students. And by students, I mean, the role of the student. Like, you can be a good student by working hard, and they do. But I mean, when I am a student, no matter what my other classes have been like, when I place myself in a class, I understand that I am placing myself at the mercy of my teacher. If they want me to speak, I will speak. If they say that this is the way to learn something, I will try it. You know? They take the initiative to take this class. It's voluntary and it cost money. Why wouldn't they take the initiative to ask me questions when they don't understand something? Or to simply follow me when I try to lead them somewhere? I have never been in a class where the teacher was unable to get this same reaction. So I'm troubled. I can keep trying new techniques, but I really can't do anything particulary exciting or fun unless I know that they're with me. Or until they give me some response to tell me what they think is exciting or fun. I expected to have figured this out by now. I mean, whatever the problem is, it's mine-- not theirs. So I'm not blaming them. I'm just referencing their behavior to indicate that there is some failing in the way I approach them.

But I was still really steamed about the way Connie made her comment. I described the whole thing to Alice later, and she told me not to pay attention to it. You know, after our first full lesson there, she complained about the structure while another student told us how much she enjoyed it. Since then it's been really crappy trying to find a balance for them. Of course I'm going to consider it though. But it's like... I may have been jumping topic to topic, but those were just tools for me to teach a theme. I wanted to demonstrate the flexibility English has in describing things as subjective as music or feelings, and I wanted to show them common resources like poems and reviews-- places where we've picked up words and speaking skills. But I should have explained that more clearly at the beginning.

Also, and this shocked me back to reality, it turns out that Connie was partially basing this on the fact that the review didn't make any sense. As in, she thought that the review of the music was a review of the lesson. I forgot that a noun like that could be misinterpreted. Again, my fault. It's just not the easiest thing to assess just what words they know and what words they don't. I mean, they're doctors. They know "tuberculosis." Then again, she also missed that part of the lesson.

The worst is just the silence. I try to give them opportunities to emote and practice speaking, but they either just stare straight at me or anywhere else. During the poetry thing, I did get a lot of head nodding though. I didn't move on until I saw heads nodding-- since they were giving me that, I latched onto it.

It's not that I think they're being withholding for one reason or another. But in any case, I haven't been able to get what I want out of them yet, so it's back to the drawing board for Saturday.

FREAKY news (5 stories to chill my bones)

Like the title says...

This morning, I got up early (these days, 8:45 is early) so that we could go to the park on our last day off. I was expecting a day of relaxation, maybe some drawing, some reading, some lesson planning, and maybe shopping. I was checking my e-mail and sorta eavesdropping on Alice's phone conversation, but couldn't really figure out what was going on cuz I was only sort of paying attention.

Apparently, Russ's apartment was broken into last night. The thief came in through his bedroom window, on the 4th floor no less, and took his laptop, cell phone, and wallet, though his credit cards were left behind. Holy shit, right? I mean, he was asleep right there, next to the desk where everything was. He didn't notice anything until this morning.

By the time we got over there at 9:30, he had already reported it all to the police. Also, he had decided that he's leaving the country ASAP. And I was like... "wha..?" I mean, I'd sort of stated to myself on the way there that if my laptop goes, that's it and I'm coming home. But also... my laptop is maybe worth 100 times more to me. To be fair, he sort of doesn't know how to use a computer, and apparently it was only $400. The phone was about Y500, and he only had about Y600 in his wallet. In Alice's estimation, my initial loss was much heavier, so she and her family don't really understand why he wants to leave.

Ok, well, someone broke into his apartment and walked around his room while he was in it-- probably armed also. That, I understand, would shake anyone up. I mean, what exactly would he have done if he'd woken up? His assessment was that this country is too dangerous and he won't stay here any longer than he has to.

But. On the other hand. Robberies occur everywhere. He feels like he's being targeted, and I sort of understand that feeling-- after having shit stolen, I've been REALLY aware of how everyone around me might be about to take the rest of my stuff, but some of that is irrational too. Because you can take precautions, and the truth is that he left himself open by leaving his bedroom window visibly open.

Granted, it may never have occurred to him (as it never occurred to me) and anyone would scale 4 stories to commit a theft. I looked out his window today and the wall is perfectly smooth and completely inaccessible. Except, the apartment below had grating on the windows, like what we have here, and the one down and to the left of that did also, and so on-- so the dude(tte) leap-frogged from grating to grating to get up there. Which is still a feat, but now comprehensible.

So I dunno. We think it might be the shock speaking. I personally think it's not worth leaving the country for after we've just gone through all this trouble and Liu finally got our foreign experts certification. I mean... I'm a lot younger too and getting along a little better I think. I can see how maybe little things might have been doing it slowly-- like, he often doesn't understand me when I speak to him, I can't imagine what communicating with everyone else is like. Sometimes he just doesn't even try. So yeah I dunno. We'll see what he decides.

Meanwhile, we're a bit worried because if he goes, so probably will the high school classes. Which is not what I want. I've only gotten to see them once and I adored them. I will be way sad if I can't work with them more (which, hi, is sort of why I came here). And then all the hospital and training center classes will also be bequeathed to me.

The second freaky thing. I don't think anyone told Russ this, but I overheard them talking about it. Basically, if he weren't a foreigner, the police probably wouldn't have had any time for this case today. This is because somewhere in this district (I think) a family was murdered last night and they're all tied up with that.

The third freaky thing. On our way back from lunch, we passed an intersection and I heard the taxi driver point out something very very disturbing. Well, I was disturbed because this is my ultimate paranoia that was addressed. Apparently somewhere nearby they found chickens with the flu and had to kill them all. There were more details and some numbers, but the essence is here I think. Some of you maybe have heard me predict my own death from this illness, and I still believe that it's a likelihood. I asked Alice to make sure I heard correctly, and I had, but she seemed totally unconcerned. She assured me that the only cases of people with the illness have been in Southern China... the way that in the US we say that the only cases of people with the illness have been in Asia. So I'm not comforted a whole lot. I dunno if the windiness of this area is a good or bad thing in this case. But whatever. I'm still a little bugged out, but since no one else cares, I'll just... calm myself.

The fourth freaky thing. I need to plan two lessons for tomorrow, 5 hours in all, not anywhere yet in that, thanks, but anyways. I was looking for some good news articles that might present well, and decided to try The Week for some nice short summaries. So what does the internet do but flip shit at me. I got a page I've never in my life seen before. Some very high contrast colors and a no-nonsense box in the center basically stating something like "this is not your browser at fault. we did in fact understand where you wanted to go but we don't want you to go there. don't you dare try that again." So... I didn't. Which is why I can't tell you the exact text of that page. But yeah, for whatever reason it is not ok to try going to that website here.

The fifth freaky thing. Nothing that has happened to me personally. But I did find some articles on National Geographic about resurgent illnesses, specifically measles and polio. How they're going crazy in some developing countries in Asia, Central Asia, and Africa because of poor immunization coverage there. What really irritated me though is the idea that there are people who would declare immunization unsafe and convince others to decline immunization for themselves and their children. Some of the claims about vaccines being laced with HIV or sterilizers are out of the scope of my belief. I mean, don't people want to live? I'm just glad that philosophies or whatever have developed in the US that allow the science of immunization to be widespread and accepted. That's one thing I'm proud of, and I really do think that's a better way of life. I guess what I feel is that it wouldn't be a bad thing if that particular value were to spread worldwide.

Woo, I have an opinion.

As for the non-freaky parts of the day, there were a few. The park was really nice. I managed to do some artsy stuff there, but it sucks. I partially blame myself-- I wasn't feeling very detail oriented. But I also blame the paper, which was the only art-like paper I could find. Also, I sort of blame the pastels. But the pastels are weird. I got them for really cheap at the department store. There are 57 colors in the box, which is monumental. But then again, the box says "Happy Junior Artist" on it. And I thought, "youth?" If you flip the box over, there's a photo of a baby's hand. I mean this hand most likely belongs to someone under the age of 3. Also, they're "beyond non-toxic" and "environment friendly" and I'm thinking... art supplies that are non-toxic are sort of not worth it. I mean... sure, food dyes or like... fruit derivatives... but... not usually. So these OIL pastels are looking a lot like crayons. But the COLORS. I mean, the colors have names like "vermillon" (sic), "viridian," "oxide green," "cobalt blue," "ultramarine," "prussian blue," and like "dark carmine." Also, there's a "rose hadder," which I don't think I'd ever heard of until I looked at the back of this box, although now that Stephen King title makes more sense. But it was a pleasant way to spend the morning. Lots of mothers kept bringing their kids over to watch me draw... and people kept commenting when they walked by. It was... weird. But cool.

Then we ate at Yellow River a restaurant that serves western food that has gotten thumbs up from previous teachers, cuz I was craving pizza like mad (Phoebe and Joey were talking about it on Friends). Russ got the Chicago pizza... which ended up being a pizza with chili instead of tomato sauce. Really good though. I got tomato cheese, which was exactly that... also no sauce. But good. Alice went with the spicy chicken sandwich which was actually a cajun chicken sandwich that was really good (I tried some). The only other people there was a party of businessmen who ended with a Y600 tab. Whoa.

I have no idea how I spent the rest of the afternoon. I did take a 3 hr nap, I suppose, which has become the standard measure of time for me over the years.

And now I'm in a crunch preparing for two classes. I don't mind admitting that I get really nervous every time I have to do one of these. I understand this sort of makes me a mess a few times a week, but eh.

Watched the first of my Hohhot DVDs last night-- Top Gun. My first time ever watching that movie. I remember running in and out of the room with my cousins on various adventures while our parents had it on, but I absolutely never paid attention. I dedicated the viewing to Liz and Aki, the only two people to ever mention it to me, and am happy to say that I totally loved it. The theme was always my favorite song to play on the recorder in elementary school, but I was annoyed that they kept playing "Take My Breath Away," cuz it was almost camp (probably the nature of the song as it's evolved today, but still). Also Tom Cruise used to be real hot stuff and I never realized. I mean, I was in elementary school, but that hasn't stopped everyone, apparently. Ahem. And I've been a Val Kilmer fan since The Saint. Just sharing that. But the best was the fact that the DVD had all the extras on it. And there are a lot, though I was too tired to check them out so I don't know if they were really there or not. So that's crazy cuz that never happens.

Ok. Back to lessons, goddammit.

Hohhot and why I was there for 2 days

Convincing the medical staff was a complete no-go from the beginning, first of all. But that came later.

The two hour train ride went well enough. I fell asleep with my mouth wide open, but no flies landed in it, which was fortunate. The other people around me fell asleep too, and since I was window seat, I pretty much built my body into an impermeable fortress around my purse, which had many important documents in it-- not only mine, but Russ's too. And I could just envision everyone's face if I let Russ's passport get stolen too.

The Hohhot train station was insanely crowded. I guess just more so than I expected. Anyways, all the empty taxis were trapped by all these full taxis, so I gave up and walked a block to where things were less crazy. The driver I found was like... Xtreme stunt driver taxi man. I really didn't know how to communicate how impressed I was with his inter-traffic fluency, so I just mentally cheered him on from the backseat. The man had like... raptor-like problem solving ability behind the wheel. It was cool.

By the time I met Alice's friend at the university around 11, she still hadn't been able to locate the place we needed to go. She and her boyfriend had been asking people all morning apparently, TO NO AVAIL. That was initially a capslock mistake, but... i sorta liked the way it looked.

After many a phone call, the two of us asked a taxi driver, who got us there in like 2 min. About here is where I realized I had no control over whatever the situation might be, and that it's really difficult to deal with 3 screaming receptionists. They were like yelling, and I'm not really sure why or what about, but what Meng managed to explain was that no way in hell were they going to accept my documentation and it was going to cost almost twice as much as we thought to get the exam done. Because Russ and I had faxed and e-mailed everything over to save time, we had to subject ourselves to the exact same tests again.

Only Alice forgot to give me the photographs necessary to complete the process. And since they only conduct the exam between 8 and 11:30am, I'd have to wait until the next day anyway. So Alice headed to the train station to meet me, Russ was informed that he'd have to join us, and I went back to the Inner Mongolia U campus with Meng for lunch and a nap.

On the way, I watched her get mowed down by some middle schooler on a bike. I felt sooo bad for this girl, it must have been one of the most inconvenient days ever. But she wasn't injured, thank goodness.

Lunched at Yong He, which sports a Chinese lookalike of the Colonel as its spokesman. Actually, it's not even distinctly Chinese. The only thing that distinguishes it from trademark/copyright/whatever infringement (and not very well) is a slightly different perspective... and well... maybe shorter hair. Had some steamed baozi and tea eggs which all ruled.

Then a quick walk through the campus to the dorms... and it looked really nice-- yesterday was a pretty day. We passed: two white girls outside a shop speaking Chinese, the artificial lake, some nice buildings, a "slope" (a lengthy handicap entrance?), a exploded-looking sewer, and the shower building. Disembuildinged showers (indoors, but still!)... terrifying thought when you consider the winters here.

Nap. Alice showed up around 3 or 4. We went over to her dorm room and met her roommates-- one of whom is getting married in a few days. She was really cool actually, and was busy packing up all of her things. Alice is avoiding going back to school-- she's 3rd year grad so it's possible for her to do that. So we sat around there a while then waded through rush hour traffic to dinner at a Korean restaurant. They definitely served dog at that restaurant. I was really shocked. Speaking of which, I'm really gonna have to get a dog when I get home. You know how some women get baby envy when they see happy little children? I'm that way with nearly every dog I see these days... it's unusual. Afterwards, we went into a little shop, and then checked out a few things that folks were selling on the street.

Actually, Alice's dorm had dorm mothers, whose jobs were to keep non-residents from being in the building. Really lucky about that whole Chinese ancestry thing. But we were still really careful, and I didn't speak while we were walking down the first floor hall or anything. Alice's engaged roommate offered to sleep in a different room so that we wouldn't have to share a bed. Oh, yeah, it's 4 people to a room there (undergrads get 6). The rooms are about the size of a typical cornell single, and they get bunk beds, a carrel of 4 desks, two wardrobes, and some cubbies, plus a little tv above the door that was playing attractive Korean dramas that evening. So yeah, all 3 of Alice's roommates were present. So I'd just finished washing my face in the basin, when there was a knock at the door. Suddenly one of the dorm mom's burst through with her clipboard, saying something like, "Room 424 (my freshman room #... weird, huh? ok, maybe not)... 4 girls, right?" And then she launched into what sounded like a list of rules. There were definitely 5 of us in there, but one of the girls happened to be in bed in some configuration that made her invisible to this woman. I, meanwhile, just went about my business, blowing my nose, with my face hidden, etc. I was thinking of all the possible ways that I could spend the night if she caught me, among them: hanging out at the train station or scaling 4 stories of wall to come in the open window.

Oh, that open window! After we finally got to bed... Ok, well I woke up intermittently to just... scratch. I was really dry and itchy and ugh. But I woke up this morning and found that I was just lying there scratching my cheek. I was like... aw, man... a mosquito bite on my FACE. I went to splash my face in the... sink... room... and noticed not one, but 3 bites on various parts of my face. Additionally, there's an entry-exit wound type situation near my collarbone on the right and the corresponding region by my shoulder blade on my back. Meaning that I was snacked on through my clothes. Then later I discovered another bite on my neck near my jaw and one on my chin also. I look like I have the pox, frankly, it's kinda funny but also uncomfortable.

Popped two pieces of gum into my mouth, and we made it to the... place... around 8. The cashier didn't show up for another 30 min, so that sucked. But yay, I finally got to start my exam around 9ish maybe? This examination... I could compare it maybe to a scavenger hunt or a fraternity house-party... or maybe like one of those elementary school carnivals. An activity in every room! The adventure began in the blood room. I sometimes am not a morning person. Today was such a day, when the first thing I had to do = one of my greatest irrational fears. I was a meeeeess. But after that initial... stab... the rest went ok. The doc who filled out the sheet may have been even less thorough than my practitioner back home, but she was sympathetic to the whole date problemo.

Then to the ECG room, which... well, it's a good thing I'm not really modest or anything, cuz they definitely make you bare a lot more than you usually would. The lady was all like "get on the table and lift up your shirt... oh yeah, and this too" and just... took the liberty of flipping up my bra. I was all like "k..." And whereas the ECG I had in the states had like those little sticky pads... this one used a series of clamps for the ankle and wrist and a cluster of suction cups... at least three of which left a line perfectly circular hickeys along my ribcage.

Then a chest x-ray, which was really really casual. Whereas in the US it was really expensive and involved wardrobe changes and being lost in a hospital, here you could just stand there while the doctor examined someone (waaay cool, by the way), and then it was just like "next!" and then the person leaves through a door, you enter through the door, stand on a platform, breathe while the doc reminds you to do so, and you're done.

Then, the ultrasound. I don't know why we needed an ultrasound. Maybe for parasites? This was maybe the most stressful one, if only because it was in demand and people were lining up and sorta pushy about getting in. But the woman chose me, and proceeded to like... yell... in harsh fast Chinese and I wasn't 100% sure what she was telling me to do. It was over in seconds, and I didn't know if I should take the piece of paper back out with me so I stood there a sec for a clue. The woman kept telling everyone there "she doesn't understand, she doesn't understand," which she may have just figured out herself. At last, the cute doctor next to her turned around and said very sweetly " mei shi" which means that I ain't got no issues, so I left.

That concluded my part of the exam, and Alice & I bused over to the train station (really long, really crowded ride, but thank goodness we had seats) to pick up Russ. Then back for his examination, which went fast, then we were done!

There was a moment where we thought we might have to stay another night to wait for the results, but Mr. Liu said that he'd take care of it the next day since he's going to Hohhot to get our foreign expert cards anyway.

So we went to get noodles. Ever see an episode of Yan Can Cook where he makes noodles? It's like a 3 ring circus, it's so awesome. Anyway, this place Yan Can Cooked the noodles right in front of your face, then covered them in broth and dressed them with the obligatory greens and beef. Very nice. Very mesmerizing. Very hard to hide the fact that you're staring very hard.

Then walk to the bank, past some shops, back to the south gate of the university. Then... DVD adventures! What I've been waiting for! First we checked out the piles some folks were selling in an alley (a really roomy, commercial alley). I didn't get anything, but Alice got 2 Korean drama series' which look as exciting as they do incomprehensible. One of them is the one that I got in Maryland this summer, for about 1/14 of the price. I saw one episode with my mom, with every combination of Chinese Language, Korean Language, Chinese Subtitle, and English Subtitle, and neither of us understood much more than the very basics of it. Alice said she'd explain it to me, which is really really good news. The man even gave her the guarantee that if she didn't like that show, she could call him and she could return it. THEN CAKES. BOUGHT CAKES. I ate two of them already and they ruled. One of them was like... a mini-pie/turnover/pastry. Mmmmm. Then we went into a store and I went crazy go nuts. Bought a bunch of movies and some CDs... got a Chinese CD for free... and free is cool. I really wanted to build more of a collection... I mean, they had The Philadelphia Story, for goodness sakes, but I couldn't really afford many more. I know, right? I'm sort of poor.

Then back to the dorm to pick up a bunch of Alice's belongings. She's like... really good at convenience lying. By this I mean... you have to explain every time to try to remove things from the building. And a woman like yelled at her through the window on our way out trying to figure out why she had so many bags with her. So she just said that she was helping her engaged friend move out. Less trouble for everyone! I was so impressed.

Then pilgrimage to McD's to sit. I'd been wanting to go there since the day before, just because it's the place I go to drown my frustrations in french fries, which I've come to embrace as my favorite food.

We went to the train station at 4, and on our way into the ticket hall, we heard some dude lament that there were no tickets for Baotou left! So a little background: October 1 is their National Day here, it's one of their big holidays, with significance comparable to July 4 for us. Buuut, it's like a weeklong government holiday and entails a lot of travel or family reunifying, so the train was booked. Alice got us some standing tickets, just for me and Russ though, since she had just been ordered by her uncle to stay in town (which was kind of rough of him, but I guess he still didn't know that she wants to take care of her mom here). Then we went to the bus station to see if we could get a bus.

The short answer is no. The crowd at the gate was sooo thick. It was like a mosh pit, and every once in a while you could hear people screaming or like... shouting for everyone to quit pushing. I didn't really feel like insinuating myself into that. Russ, on the other hand, didn't feel like standing on the bus for 2 hrs. So? He asked if we could just make a deal with a taxi driver. Alice estimated that it'd take us $300 to get back to Baotou using this method. Which, I guess, it cheaper than certain articles of clothing. But it was worth it to Russ, so we went in search of a driver, and found one real fast. He already had two other guys paying their way, so we had a nice full car. I think these other two guys might have met on the plane. One of them was a middle aged-ish businessman type. The other was a really young looking guy in a suit with a briefcase full of people's business cards. This one sat next to me. He was real friendly though. I think the other man had offered to help pay his ride or something, but he spent a really long time trying to fix him up with one favor or another. He like... networked like crazy. I think he ended up getting the man a discount at the Baotou Hotel, which I saw tonight is really posh. He also tried telling me about some English teaching job somewhere in... Lanzhou? But ended up just giving me his business card. I'm a little confused as to what I'm supposed to do with it. I don't know if Russ and I now have some social obligation to fulfill. Because he left with a "call me, ok?" sort of statement, but I didn't really get when or why I was supposed to do so. I thought maybe he was offering to show us around, but he's only visiting for a little while I think. So then I thought his company might do something with tours, but no. It does like... consulting? Advertising? Construction? Not sure. So yeah. Impasse. I think I may have fallen asleep on him briefly though. Oops.

Got dropped off at the Baotou Dong station, which is on the waaay other side of town (it's like another 30 min by train from there to the Baotou station, which is in our district). But we cabbed with the businessman and he paid Y15 of the fare (which... may have been less than I thought he would, but whatev). This cab driver. Whoa. It's like he's not from this town. Man clearly subscribes to the anything-goes school of cab-driving. Like holy shit. So far, it's been my only experience in this town where a driver willfully crosses into oncoming traffic for extended periods of time. And it wasn't exactly like oncoming traffic was clear. I mean, it was still coming. But really, it was up to them to rearrange themselves... our driver wasn't going back over until he felt like it. Even on the right side of the road, he was like Matrix driver. Bullet-time driver. Moses-parting-the-Red-Sea driver. It was intense. And it was like he was too good for any single lane. He's all living between the lanes. Also, he was driving really fast for a town where no one utilizes reflective tape-- especially not bounding pedestrians.

Made it home! Mr. Liu stopped by to pick up my last remaining passport photo for Hohhot tomorrow. We walked over to his office at the training center to get the ATM card and credit card that arrived the other day concurrent with my new passport (best mail call ever). There was some waiting involved since the building was locked. He went to find the key, and I just stood around. Lucky I did cuz the key came riding up on a bike with this man who asked me what I was doing standing around there. Alice is coming back to town tonight after all, though she'll probably stay at home. Showered at last, and I really needed it by then, cuz whoa. And I don't mind telling you that.

And my face itches.

Some bitterness of mine

So, it turns out that one of my USB drives is veritably infested with viruses! Specifically, Win32.Mima.C, the bastards. And this is something I didn't know until after I plugged it into my laptop. My antivirus software has no idea how to deal with it, and symantec.com won't load, and mcafee has never heard of it. I figure that means that I can get as paranoid and worked up as I want. Having googled, I found only one website that has a description of it, and it ain't pretty (well it's enough to freak me out anyway). Apparently it destroys word documents and assumes their identities. I am concerned for certain of my essays and so on that are located on this drive and on this drive only. And then of course it steals information.

I'm not sure how the virus got on there, but I suspect that it took up residence either at the training center last night when I used their computer, or sometime earlier that day before my laptop flipped out. Too many variables for me to sleep very soundly.

Doing a system scan of my laptop now with my fingers crossed.

Just thought I'd share.

But yeah, I'm really pissed at people who make this shit up. I mean come on. This facet of our society is just one of many that will keep our civilization from colonizing space.