On closed doors

Apparently I don't exert enough force when trying out doorknobs on strange doors, and tend to conclude that they're locked when they really aren't. Recent manifestation: the door that stood between me and heat/hot water. It wasn't locked today and it wasn't locked two days ago. Sigh.

(and... it's not the first time)

Funny, I don't feel like I have my life back...

Three down! I was so excited to be able to take a break after this one, but it occurs to me that that's a really bad idea. I'm feeling a little depressed now because I don't think my application materials were the best. Well, I've got a month until the next two... Did I have more to say besides this? Probably I got sidetracked though and I'm not really fully functioning right now either...

Chalk up another

Well now that's over-with. What an interesting weekend that will be embarrassing to recount for weeks to come. I quite literally haven't left the apartment since Friday afternoon (it is now Monday afternoon). I showered once and subsisted mainly on a diet of coffee and chesnuts. The evidence was scattered on all the tables up until this morning, damp bags of coffee grounds by the pot on the stove, and jagged nut casings on plates, in bags, on tissues, and on paper towels. Pretty disgraceful. At mealtime I'd treat myself to rice and a fried egg... sometimes two fried eggs. The little trash bin is a tower of tissues (I was allergic to something on Saturday) and eggshells. This afternoon I'll have to buy eggs to replace the ones I ate, and bread to replace the bread I ate. Otherwise I'd feel like a jerk. But there are no chesnuts left, I have no soap left, and no facewash left. Good thing today was the last day. Well... sort of...

Last night I was reading an article in New York Magazine (ok this one: http://nymag.com/news/features/52450/) and thinking... wow, I'm so at risk right now. Looking forward to venturing outdoors today. Human interaction's gonna be awesome.

I went to bed sometime between 3:30 and 4 am, got back up between 7-7:30. I stayed up late to get everything to a place where I could feel comfortable about leaving it... had heartburn for a while, one assumes from all the coffee I've been imbibing. Surprisingly alert right now. I guess it's just the rush of freedom, sweet freedom. Only not really...

I wound up being "that guy" this morning when I decided to take a strategic day off library translating in order to finish my application and spruce up the apartment for when the owners return with their guests on Wednesday. Turns out that they were hoping I could judge a skit-reading this morning... something I'd been prepared to do the week before my trip, but since I had no way of knowing ahead of time no one's really to blame, right?

My intention is to sleep in "my" bed tonight, back in the dorm. I haven't stayed there in almost 2 weeks. I've been wearing the same combination of clothes since then, though that might just be a function of my only packing 3 long-sleeve shirts in my entire suitcase. Do some life maintenance. Tomorrow... crap, tomorrow's Tuesday. I guess that means that I should be doing some work tonight too. Berkeley's deadline is up this Friday. I just re-examined the application and realize that I need to produce some sort of statement of purpose fission. That should be... no fun. Hahaha.

Ok, back to life!

I think I'm packed...

So... that was almost too easy. I know I'm forgetting something monstrously important. But honestly, as long as I have underwear and face wash I'm probably OK right? All of my clothes are piled on top of each other in my large backpack. I'm assuming that will be enough to get me through. The suitcase is honestly just full of random things like tampons and shoes, packed more or less inefficiently. A lot of it will be gone when I make the return trip. I did some quick searches and I think I might be able to climb a bit while I'm gone, so at the last minute I went ahead and stuffed my gear in on top of everything else. Worse comes to worse I can shop there (everyone know how much I LOVE shopping in China... PSYYYYCHE), and if it gets worse than that, I'm coming home in December.

Looking forward to that, by the way!

OK, I feel feverish... I think I should shower and have some frozen yogurt while watching one of the movies I rented when I thought I would have time to watch them. I don't think I shall be sleeping tonight, since I have to get up at 3 to leave for the airport anyway.

Where am I?

So, there have been a few developments recently. While there is still a bit of existential angst in my life, I've decided to grab pretty much everything by the balls and see where that leaves me (hopefully not trampled to death in a gutter somewhere, fingers crossed). Next Monday I start in my new position as library assistant at the WAC. Now, why the title is "assistant" I'm not really sure, since I would basically be the be-all-end-all in terms of who's in charge of the library, if you don't count my superiors, who really just approve stuff and don't have anything to do with the library's day to day functions. Of course, it is only a 20-hr a week gig, and apparently I won't have enough actual library work to keep me occupied all of those hours. So... But anyways, I get paid! And that gives me legitimate impetus to begin searching for an apartment. I was trying to put it off until at least Monday, when I have full use of the library's internet, but I inadvertently started yesterday. Yeah, it's as overwhelming as I thought it would be. I decided to try to get in with a bunch of housemates, since that brings rent down to my level of affordability, but it all depends on how likable I actually am. I e-mailed my two top choices so far, and I'm going to think about the others a little bit. The issue is that I want to wait a week to see where I stand for this job I just applied for and really really want. And also, I'm not interested in moving IMMEDIATELY. Late-feb/early-mar is about the time-frame I'm looking at. And also... dude... it's just a commitment. I mean, DUDE.

So that's where I am right now. gawd that was uninteresting.

While I'm here...

So, I started an entry the week before last to talk about that eventful weekend, and then just let it rot like carrion because I was to lazy to relive the whole thing. Then last weekend occurred, which was also eventful, as far as my weekends go, and you might notice that I haven't written about that one either. Let me just enumerate, for posterity's sake.

--Friday: Was angry at the cleaning lady for placing my shoes on top of my backpack and getting crap all over it. Got over it. Explored San Francisco near the eastern wall of the Presidio. Wandered the Lucasfilm campus, walked along the coast, found the wave organ. Drank champagne at Alice's and slept over. Developed scratchy throat.

--Saturday: Woke up, went to sports basement, went climbing, went back to sports basement, went back to Alice's, went to the sunset, went into a korean restaurant, escaped said restaurant when we discovered that there were no free side dishes, found San Tung, had noodles, headed towards beach, waylaid by Great Stuff store, did not make it to the beach. Scratchier throat.

--Sunday: Climbing at the Pinnacles (only not really for me cuz I'm physically and mentally weak), dinner at eNoodle: real guotie, vinegar at the tables, but beef noodle soup was really weird. Aaand I'm officially sick.

The week passes.

--Saturday: Met Alice after lunch, got on the bus, arrived at Exploratorium, met Yash and Adam, a day Exploring the wonders of our world, got herded out at closing time, balance beam jousting, driving to dinner, looking for parking, Adam's ipod, B44, got tipsy, perhaps I behaved strangely, Muni to Alice's, got my climbing stuff, went home.

--Sunday: Old Navy and Borders. Yeah.

And it's Friday again! I really meant to flesh out a lot of those experiences, but I know myself well enough to admit that that's probably just not going to happen at this point. It's sad because I don't know how to tag this entry now...

Found: awesome tv show and lover in a former life

The title for this post was originally going to be simply "found," but I figured I could dodge some ridicule this way. It's actually about LOST, that show that I used to watch and find myself watching again. What happened was that my harddrive was glutted after getting topped off with all the music I got over the holidays, so I was looking for ways that I could bear that would free up a few gigs. And then I realized that I had half of season 3 sitting on there in hefty mp4 format, and then I watched an episode and remembered that it was good. Also, considering how lame my life is now and how I'm constantly looking for entertainment with minimal effort to be expended by myself, well... one thing led to another and I finished the series and I really just need more.

Anyways, I know this subject is kind of boring, but I realized it's probably important for me to get this thing going again, since I'd never forgive myself later if I just let the precious momentos (siiiigh, it's a neologism, ok?) of my youth slip away without a fight.

And perhaps it seems boring at first until I disclose the abundance of vivid dreams I've had the past couple days (though I can't remember them in full, so it might remain boring for you, sorry). Last night, especially, after I finished the season, I kept waking myself up because I was trying to dream up season 4 and I dream-justified it as "not wanting to spoil anything." Also dreamt last night: terrifying car ride with my dad in my new car, on our way to arthur's birthday party, arthur's birthday party and some pretty weird guests, then party game in which teams build their miniature "dream garden" by bartering for found items. For example, you'd walk up to someone and ask for a lake and they might give you a small chunk of blue felt.

Hopefully this is the start of a beautiful new thing as I add some digital umami to my life as it is.

That is all.

And as for Beijing...

So what have I been doing with myself here anyways? Haha, eating, mostly, just... snacking.

At China Care, I'm kind of the assistant to the volunteer coordinator, Jeremy, a nice fellow whose dry sense of humor really confused me for the first week or so. I live on-site in a dorm-like situation (apartment with bunk beds) within seconds of the 4 children's homes. It's a very convenient location for volunteering, but not really for anything else. It's not *quite* in the boonies, but it's definitely not central or anything. We're about 20 minutes from the airport, but only because the road there is so loopy. I'm sure that a straight shot would put us much much closer. On the other hand, that means that we're about 45 bus-minutes from Beijing-proper, if the traffic's good. While this isn't the biggest deal actually, it's functioned as a pretty strong deterrent thus far against many more excursions into the city. I generally take one trip in a week and stay the night with friends. I might visit more often if it weren't for an actual sense of duty and the fact that the buses stop running after a certain time and cabs are like Y100.

I do like spending time at China Care though, so it all works out. The area here is what you'd call suburban, but there's surprisingly little in the immediate vicinity in terms of cheap, quality Chinese food (in the Baotou sense). All store fronts appear sketchy, and there are few of those anyway. Which is shocking, because you should see the sheer number of apartment complexes hereabouts. There is one park down the block, which is extremely pleasant and which I enjoy very much... except for the over-abundance of mosquitos. For about Y20 each way, you can get to a plaza with a Starbucks, a very delicious Italian restaurant, and a grocery store called Jenny Lou's. This place is like a crib sheet for the Western gastronomy. The first time I walked down the aisles and saw shelves of Campbell's soup, I thought... "You shouldn't be able to get this here! This is cheating!" I mean, after months of rationing a single box of Easy Mac packages, what was I supposed to think? I don't like to go often though, cuz just getting there is so expensive and then you're just spending money on expensive stuff while you're there. The restaurants do delivery though, and sometimes I just sort of feel that urge to let the food come to me of its own volition.

Ok, this is just gonna have to be part 1. It's been sitting unpublished on my desktop for the past week, so it's about time I guess.

Thoughts on this, the day I leave Baotou for good

A few things:

Mostly they concern the past couple days.
... Actually, what is there even to say?

I've really enjoyed my last couple weeks in Baotou. It made me feel really good to know that some of my students will remember me for a long time. The last lesson I had was pretty much effortless, just speed dating. I still jive better with the first years than the second years, and we had a pretty good time (from my point of view) before adjourning for pictures. It was really chill, and I appreciated that. Chen came by last weekend, which was pretty exciting. Additionally, he helped me out in my two rowdiest classes, so things were more controlled than usual. I did get to see all of my favorite students a last time, which rules. I may have had specifics, but toootally forgot.

I attempted a batch of brownies on Saturday, with a few slight modifications. I don't know if it was the measurements or the oven, but well... some would say that I failed in my endeavor. Be that as it may, a cold pan of half-baked brownies has really come in handy every now and then since then. What is that like? Well, the majority of the center is definitely still liquid. But that can be cool.

The children's home has seemed pretty empty for a week or so, since Xin Cheng was put into foster care and a lot of the other babies I knew went hither and yon.

Ok. Sooo. Wound up not finishing this after all. More later I guess!

actually a really short entry about laundry that was hard for me to title so this is it

Laundry day again. But this time it's a SPECIAL laundry day. Today I am washing all the clothes to be packed in my suitcase not to be unpacked until I've reached the landlocked shores of the big OH. Kind of exciting, though I still hate doing laundry here. I'd considered outsourcing this particular load, but the skinflint in me won over. I spend a lot of random money this month... on a hard disk, a dress, and coffee, so...

There's lots to say about this past weekend I guess, so I'll go ahead and start new posts for those.

I've been places -or- Moldy news

And that's the reason that I haven't been able to update this at all. I did make one attempt at an internet cafe in Jishou that was finally able to even connect to blogger, but there was some error at the end of it all, and I basically just stopped trying after that.

Anyways, I am back in Baotou now... arrived yesterday just before noon, and I'm ready to tell all about the rollicking good times I had all over the place. Errr... to be narrower in my description, I'm not ready to tell *at this moment* because my attention span says no, but I'm psyching myself up for it. I've been keeping tabs along the way of all the things I've wanted to note, and hopefully I'll be able to recount everything in some detail. Just not today! Instead, I'm going to list a, uh, table of contents, because I'm most definitely going to be doing this piecemeal. Sort of to make things easier to swallow and also so that I don't build up a psychological barrier to updating.


Just so this particular post doesn't get classified just as one of those stupid frank "I've got a blog" entries, I'll introduce the new situation with my refrigerator. Our fridge was unplugged while I was gone, presumably to save energy, but when I opened it yesterday, I discovered that much of its interior surface area is covered in mold. Quite smelly mold. Mold akin to bread mold, fortunately, so it doesn't appear slimy or orange or anything like that. Also there is an egg in there, which makes me very uneasy. I went out to the store today and bought some cleaning cloths, a kitchen cleaner that's hopefully anti-bacterial, and what I assume is an odor neutralizer for the aftermath. Actually, I tried to communicate to one of the sales ladies that I needed something to clean my fridge because it molded, and she insisted that there's no cleaning solution I can use because you put food in there, and that I should just wipe it with water. Well, maybe soap and water might be effective enough for SOME (okay, maybe most) people, but I personally want the peace of mind that all microorganisms in that fridge expired in a storm of chemicals. Sales ladies have this tendency to give me doubtable information about... everything. It makes it harder for me to trust. Anyways, I bought some things I thought might work, and also have an antiseptic that I use with my laundry that I was thinking about splashing in there too.

I then decided that I didn't want to do that today either, so I'm psyching myself up for that as well.

Tomorrow will be such a full day!

ugh

i'm really bitter right now because there's no water in my apartment, so the toilet won't flush and i had to brush my teeth with water from the purifying tank, which, by this exercise, i have discovered carries some very freaky, very *large* particles.

anyways, i've meant to update with fun stories about witnessing an attempted pocket-picking, the nature of ice in baotou, a fun package from my mother, the trip i'm planning in january, a series of successful classes, and a series of awfully boring ones (probably my bad), but yo, now is not the time. blllllllgh.

Honest to goodness US citizenship

Quick update: my new passport is at last in my possession. I just signed it and everything! No visa yet though, we're taking care of that on the 8th. Interesting fact though, the photograph seems much larger than I remember. In any case, it's a more recent photo, and looks a lot more like me. Strangely enough, it's also a much more attractive passport photo, which I wouldn't have believed possible. But like, the color of the paper and then the curvy lines running through it give it the illusion of looking nicer than the same photo on other documentation that I also now have.

I was also given my foreign experts certificate, and a certificate for a clean bill of health. Apparently after all that trouble, the docs were about to certify me as a Chinese citizen, but Alice caught that mistake. One good thing that came of this: I now know my blood type. For anyone who'd care to help me remember, it's B. Also, I know that at the time of the exam, I was still disease free and unquarantinable!

Whew!

Reassured: for now.

Virus scan came up clean. Um. Just saying.